Sub-Level 3: Episode 1: Project Dragon

Summary: A scientist accidently loses tract of a two dachshund dogs that may result in a deadly consequence.

---

“Umm – Sir…they – eh – they – eh —

“Speak up Dr. Gains! I can not hear you!” yelled General Silvers B. Stanton.

“They eeescaped.” Dr. Greggory Gains squeaked into the bright red phone.

He only used this phone when there was a dangerous situation in the facility or if his boss wanted an immediate update from him. Today the update came at a horrible moment as it was approximately three seconds past his realization that his experiments had escaped – as if fate was a cruel wizard watching him from a hidden surveillance camera.

“Hold a darn flipping minute! I still can’t hear you! I am switching to the alternate emergency phone! Darn things are so old I had to get a second one installed!” Stanton contained to yell at a constant volume.

The next second the phone hung up with an exquisite existential silence, which allowed Gains to think about the situation. He leaned his head against the stack of paper covering his desk hoping they would support his entire frustration.

He was at the Problem Desk, which was one of thirty desks in the lab. It was the worst one too, far inferior to the relaxing Snack Desk and it was bolted to the floor next to the Testing Desk #1, which was convenient for emergencies, which this completely was, although he wished he had a few minutes to figure out how to cover this mistake up at least from General Stanton.

His boss was a four-star military General, who oversaw the entire secret government research and military facility where Dr. Gains’ lived, called the Sub-Level Instillation or the SLI for short. If there was another name for it, then it was above his’ clearance level. Most of his work was done in Sub-Level 3 (SL3) – Special Projects Department. A fancy name for a once-upon-a-time storage depot for radioactive waste and sports equipment.

This clandestine military complex allowed him to make more mistakes than was conventionally accepted in most workplaces given hiring for this place was a long excruciating process that the HR team hated doing and would do anything to keep people from being fired, yet he wondered where that red line would be that finally got him fired.

In the instant the red phone rang again and Dr. Gains picked it up. Better answer on the first ring he first heard a security guard say when you know The General is calling.

“Now! I speak up Doctor! No whispering! It makes me think it has to do with one of your screw ups! And it better NOT BE!” General Stanton yelled.

A full mirror happened to be near his desk. Perhaps it appeared near the problem desk in due to the nature of self-reflection upon regrets. It would be fitting if so. He looked in the mirror as he forgot the corded phone still held to his ear.

Dr. Gains had a unshaven beard to match his shaggy brown hair. Thick lenses in equally bulky frames sat on his face. His prescription was adjusted for his astigmatism and his farsightedness in one eye and nearsightedness in the other. He preferred to wear sweater vests and tan pants under his white coat and hardly deviated from any other attire. The most unusual clothing was his liking of decorative and festive socks for each occasion or holiday. Today he had on dachshund decorated socks. He recently discovered those socks were not as lucky as he had hoped.

“I am waiting for a clear answer! Stop wasting my time with your usual hesitations and wayward daydreaming!” General Stanton exclaimed impatiently.

Dr. Gains could not began his explanation with any easy configuration of words that made what happened sound any less bad. He was also bad at lying, so he never did so. He was earnest, but had no confidence in his abilities other than mediocrity. At this lab he was given experiments and told to complete them, reporting them as either successes or failures. All he had to do was not kill anyone. 

Working at SLI for the past year, he had gotten used to the routine. There was predictability in the lack of expectations around this workplace. That is why anyone who does any job for a relative amount of “good enough” pay stays where they are instead of risking it big somewhere else. His parents tried explaining to him that those feelings were partially described by Stockholm Syndrome by his past employers, although he was sure that was quite a rare psychological occurrence considering how often it is referenced in conversation.

“Dr. Gains! The government does not pay me to wait around! Out with it! Or I will use my loud VOICE!” Stanton yelled, “Stop thinking about your life history and ANSWER ME!” Stanton yelled, getting angrier by the second.

Dr. Gains answered as loud and clear as he could muster, “I am afraid the military drones controlled by genetically altered dachshunds have mysteriously escaped their cages before I could conduct the experiment!” 

Dr. Gains shot the words out like a cannon. Immediately, he felt complete relief wash over him. Then there was a pause over the phone. This scared him.

“WHAT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ESCAPED!” Stanton screamed even louder than before.

After adjusting the distance of his ear from the phone so that he would not go deaf, Dr. Gains attempted to explain the current situation.

“Well…ah-hemm,” Greggory said, gathering the words in his throat, “during a sudden five second black out, somehow the locks on the enclosures opened on their own, and the laser security field that alerts us when something escapes went offline. So I had no idea the dogs had escaped until I returned to the dog kennels after trying to get a snack, which by the way, the snack machine also ate all my quarters without giving me anything, but I digress, because the weenie dogs are now flying around in their attack drones and I am still kinda hungry!”

There was a long enough silence for Dr. Gains to take a breath, before his reprimanding began.

“I KNEW YOU WOULD MESS THIS ONE UP DR. GAINS!” Stanton blasted the phone with his raging voice.

There were many reasons for The General to be mad at him for being an unqualified mess of a scientist. It was true that he was a mess of a scientist. He was a Dr. in English and minored in Anthropology during his undergraduate degree. Robotics was only his hobby and by sheer chance his experience in building gadgets gave him enough credit to be accepted by this facility despite not having formal research training.

The seething animosity present in The General’s voice was more accurately influenced by a grudge against him when he forgot to give The General a Christmas card last year. Dr. Gains swore he made one for him, but with all the new coworkers he met at this facility, he must have left one behind somewhere. Things were never the same, even now a month after the Christmas party.

“PUT THOSE EXPERIMENTS BACK IN THEIR CAGES BEFORE THEY CAUSE COLLATERAL DAMAGE!” General Stanton

“Well you see – they – uh…kinda flew away into the air vents – I guess experimental military drones piloted by these dachshunds are not the best following orders. I guess we can call this experiment a failure already.” Dr. Gains nervously laughed. 

Dr. Gains only carried out the test requirements he was told to complete. This month it was to choose an animal and test its compatibility with drone flight control. He chose the lovable dachshund since their long stretched bodies were a perfect fit for the drones they had in stock.

“AAAAAAAAA!” General Stanton yelled in pure rage.

Dr. Gains lifted the phone away from his ear and noticed someone had approached him from behind.

“Au contraire. Because they went through the air vents quite easily. Their shape is perfect for sneak attacks! And sneak attacks don’t need to follow orders. This will be a fantastic test of how much chaos these aerial canines can bring.” said Dr. Jessica Martin as she merrily walked over to the Problem Desk.

“AAAAAAAAA” the general continued to yell and ignored Dr. Martin.

Dr. Martin was the only other white-coated scientist who worked in Sub-Level 3 with Dr. Gains for the past year. She was his Senior Partner, having worked in this lab for a year prior, and usually headed her own projects, occasionally helping with some of his assigned experiments when he got in the proverbial weeds.

Dr. Martin was much more eccentric and happier overall with her job. She told Dr. Gains that her risky attitude and maverick-like personality got her sent to this lab as punishment. Which was the only explanation as she was much too brilliant to work at Sub-Level 3. In Dr. Gain’s view, she should have been a Director of a prestigious robotics or aerospace lab.

Dr. Martin was taller than average, fit, strong, had perfect vision, and displayed a vivid combination of creativity and ingenuity to complex project problems. Her hair was tied nicely back with a scrunchy, while her bangs were cut low to reveal her stunning eyes. Today, she wore a purple t-shirt, a green emerald necklace, navy blue cargo pants, and black work boots. Often she would change attire completely, going from skirts to shorts and back to pants. It was any conceivable combination of styles and colors, all under a white coat. It always brightened his day to see her new clothing ensemble.

Dr. Martin thoughtlessly knocked a stack of papers to the ground and sat cross-legged on the desk and leaned over to the phone Dr. Gains held as he listened to the screaming. Suddenly the phone went silent as General Stanton had run out of breath. Dr. Gains was about to open his mouth when he heard an audible inhalation and knew the yelling would begin again.

“SONOFA— ARRRG! I AM UNDER ORDERS TO NOT SWEAR AS MUCH SO – JUST – BOTH OF YOU DOCTORS – GET THOSE EXPERIMENTS BACK! OR! YOU! WILL! BE! COURT-MARTIALED!” 

“How can we be court-martialed, we are not even in the army. We’re just civilian contractors. We never joined the military!” Dr. Martin said into the phone, then childishly blasting finger guns into the air to Dr. Gain’s dismay.

It was a good thing General Stanton could not see her as Dr. Martin’s playful attitude got her into as much trouble as Dr. Gains’ experiments that tended to explode. 

“COURT MARTIALED! FIRED! I WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU WILL BE THROWN OUT OF THIS COMPLEX! OR THROWN INTO THE DEEPEST DISPOSAL PIT OF CLASSIFIED MATERIALS AND NEVER SEE DAYLIGHT AGAIN! ”

Not that they saw daylight anyways. 

The SLI complex was underground and hidden somewhere in the world. There were no windows to the outside, not real ones anyways. Along the walls there were LED screens shaped like windows, which displayed nature-related pictures to help create a more natural atmosphere, such as clouds, forests, animals, and occasionally underwater creatures. There were lots of potted plants everywhere and some water fountains, even a whole nature park. For all Dr. Gains could know he could be in outer space in some kind of futuristic artificial gravity spaceship and he would never know the difference.

“We understand General.” Dr. Gains said, trying to soothe his boss over, “the missiles are deactivated. So there should not be much danger.” 

That was the essence of Project DRAGON, which stood for Dachshund Rocket Assisted Guidance Ordnance Network.

“YOU ALREADY ATTACHED THE MISSILES TO–” 

Dr. Gains quickly hung up the phone, hoping the stress would not kill Stanton. The General was actually a nice man. He brought him and Jessica lunch on Fridays, although General Stanton always stated each and every time that buying them lunch was mandated by their contract for some reason. Dr. Gains held the view that Stanton may be a gruff sounding, hard as titanium, chain of command military man, yet under his obligatory show of top brass authority, he was proud to see us in the lab every day, as dutiful citizens working so hard along with the armed forces to make ingenious experiments to kill our enemies.”

“GREG!” Dr. exclaimed and blew into his ear.

“WHA!” Dr. Gains exclaimed and jumped in his seat.

“You are doing that thing again. You know the thing where you imagine Stanton as the prideful father projected from a lifetime of one who actually never loved you.” Dr. Martin said staring at him.

“My dad loves me.” Greggory began to explain from his chair, “he is just disappointed that my work has not gotten me a Nobel Peace Prize or the Breakthrough Prize or Fields Medal or any medal in any kind of hard science field. I mean it’s not like I can tell him where I work anyways – even the medals at this base are secret. All he thinks I am doing is working on some remote island research post in the pacific ocean studying sea snails.”

During the application process of SLI the non disclosure agreement he signed stated that a cover story would be generated in order to maintain the secrecy of the facility he would work at, which sounded unrealistic that his expertise was English literature, he was being hired because of his knowledge of robotics, yet he was to anyone on the outside world he was studying marine life on an isolated island. It did not make sense and he had to make up reasons why. Before he was able to tell his parents about the application he had to learn more than he thought he would have wanted to know about gastropods.

“Dr. Greggory!” Dr. Martin said, holding up a finger to him, “you earned a Ph.D. through hard work – I don’t care if its in English! SLI allows us freedom from the norm. You are good with robots. You work here with me in this amazing lab! So let’s figure out a plan!” She then leaned closer to him, reaching past the professional and into the intimate space, “Boop!” she said and poked his nose. She hopped backwards, then crossed her arms with a smile.

“Thanks. That was inspiration.” Greggory said with fond smile.

Her energy was boundless and he respected her for that unyielding attitude.

“We make a great team!” Jessica answered and ran over to another desk, “now come on!”

Dr. Gains followed her over to an adjacent desk, which was the Test Desk #1.

Dr. Gains looked as Dr. Martin searched for clues on how the dogs had escaped. Dr. Gains sat down at the desk chair and gazed off in a depressed manner, looking at the state of the lab.

Sub-Level 3 was a fifty-million-square-foot circular room with four hundred-foot ceilings. It was impossibly large and expansive by any standard of normal work-spaces, having enough space to fit around three-hundred superstores. There were areas where Dr. Gains had never been to before and was honestly scared to dig too deep through what was basically a military and research junkyard.

Much of the view from the ground was blocked by all the hanging wires and unsorted missile shells tilted next to hundreds of support beams. Tables were piled high with junk and walkways were impeded with old broken military vehicles. Rows and rows of tall industrial shelves lined most of the room, while other parts were sporadically empty. 

Good places to play basketball or test paper airplanes if you could find them, otherwise this lab was unpredictable like a jungle, and caution was recommended. 

Dr. Gains then looked at a large metal cage shaped like a dome that was built in the testing area. It was about twenty feet high and seventy feet in diameter. 

It was like a giant wrestling death match.

This was the area designated for the Dragon experiment. 

An obstacle course was already set up inside the cage for testing how well dachshunds could control military drones. There were hoops, bars, ramps, and cardboard cutouts of enemy soldiers. Beside the cage was what Dr. Gains stared at with disappointment, the empty kennel cages.

It was a metal structure made of six large cages.

These had two sides each with metal gates. One side connected to the test environment and the other side was where he would put the dogs and the drones temporarily.

Somehow the dogs had managed to break out from the side he loaded them into right before he left to get a snack. All the electronic controlled locks had reset and the gates were left open. 

“Do you know what caused the black out?” Greggory asked Jessica.

“Not a clue. I assumed you tripped and hit the breaker box again.”

“That only happened once…. And a black out seems strange, given no alerts went off or calls or even an email from anyone.”

“Were the dogs already in the drone harness?” Jessica asked, concerned with other details.

“Yeah – I found out it hard to get the dogs into harness and connected to the underside of the drones, so I attached all of them to the drone this morning and placed them back in the kennels, until I was ready to start the project – I – eh – as you overheard, got snackish, so I left – but only for five minutes!”

“How many test subjects were there again for the Dragon Experiment?” 

“Five – Wagner, Gunny, Dickens, Blake, and Milton – I hate to ask you to help clean up my mistakes. At least their active GPS tags work.” Greggory said, then looked at his computer screen, “they seem to have stopped in the ventilation system at the moment.”

There were hundreds of air vents all over the lab. He was not sure which one they entered from, but he saw their GPS markers that they were stopped in between Sub-Level 3 and the level above them, Sub-Level 2.

Dr. Martin took a Popsicle stick out of her coat, pushed open the kennel doors, and shifted around the blankets that were inside, looking for clues. 

How could he have guessed getting a snack would be the biggest mistake of his whole career.

The brain needs calories to think! 

“I feel like this is the fault of the biggest troublemaker of them all is the one named Wagner. He is the leader of the others. The Test Subjects Department warned me about him. I bet he had something to do with it! He was acting strange this morning with all his barking!” Greggory theorized, tapping his head.

“I would say you were crazy and it was likely due to some overlooked mistake of yours, but depending on the previous experiments, they may have been gifted with genius-level intellect or abnormal strength. One of these locks looks like it was forced open.” she said, squatting down.

“That’s the cage that Wagner was in!” Greggory gasped, not having noticed it earlier from panicking so much.

There was a tiny speck that looked like dog food on the floor near the cages that she eyed with curiosity. 

She used the popsicle stick to shift it into a small plastic bag that she pulled from her pocket.

“I found something of interest that could lead to some clues. I’ll send this sample to the SL0 bio-chem lab and Dr. Geronimo will send me the analysis later on.” Jessica said, walking back over to the Problem Desk where a clear plastic tube ran up all the way to the ceiling and through the concrete. 

She opened a small door on the tube and it sucked up the plastic bag.

The pneumatic tube system was old, but still useful for various lab use. 

After that, Dr. Martin returned back to the Testing Desk where Dr. Gains was still moping in shame.

“We shall have to have our wits about us then. Wagner could be smarter than me and for whatever reason, he let the other dogs out to wreak havoc.” Jessica declared. 

Suddenly a thought came to Dr. Gains. 

He hit his head with the palm of his hand.

“Oh! I almost forgot! What about the Kill Switch Button for the drones!” Dr. Gains exclaimed.

He looked to the side of the keyboard at the desk where a great big red button sat. It was wired to the computer network.

He smashed his fist onto it. 

SMACK!

Nothing happened.

There was supposed to be a beep when the kill switch activated.

So he did it again.

SMACK!

Nothing happened again.

“I already tried that while you were shaking from talking with The General. The dogs are out of range from the drone deactivation signal to work. By the way you panic too much, have more confidence in yourself.” Jessica advised. 

She crossed her arms and tilted her hip to one side as she narrowed down the ultimate cause of the situation. 

“I also tried to route the Kill Switch Button signal through the network’s wifi, but the drones are not responding to any type of commands anyways. I don’t know why.” Jessica said, tapping her foot on the ground.

“There must be a bug in the code or a malfunction.” he said, turning back to her.

 “Perhaps you are correct Dr. Greggory. The computer controlling the cages must have been reset. During the time it was shut down from the black out, the dogs must have escaped from the cages while a random malfunction caused the drones to not respond correctly.” She said, detailing her analysis of what happened.

“Maybe the experiment observation camera that I had pointed to the kennels recorded something!” Greggory said with nervous excitement.  

Dr. Gains turned around in his swivel chair and pulled up the footage from the experiment camera that was on right up till the black out.

“What the!” he exclaimed, “the footage for the whole day is gone! I know I left it on! There’s not even a file here!” 

Dr. Gains threw up his hands in frustration.

“I just don’t see how they escaped! Even if the main workspace goes offline, the backup system kicks in. Not to mention someone would have to physically press this switch to turn off the Security System Backup and it automatically switches back on after two minutes! We should have known when they escaped even during a black out or if the cages were forced open!” he shouted.

He stood up and flipped a switch bolted to a load-bearing beam. 

It was connected to several infrared laser devices surrounding the kennels, which when active sent out an alarm for the SL3. 

This device was a backup control system for test subjects. Once the main computer turns off, that system would automatically keep the cages locked and the lasers on. When Dr. Gains tried flipping the switch again, it neither turned off nor on the security system.

Dr. Gains could not believe an intruder could not locate this secret base, let alone devise a plan to break in and avoid detection. He for one would have heard the elevator come down.

This was crazy!

“I think this entire lab is just breaking down! This lab cursed me! It wants me to fail! Just like that dumb snack machine! I am still hungry!” Dr. Gains shouted like a madman.

He went back over to the desk and kicked it, then shouted out in pain as he hurt his leg more than the solid steel.

“Owwww.” he said, rubbing his leg.

It was true that the lab was quite in need of repair from years of neglect, lack of maintenance, and intentional avoidance of inspection. 

Still wincing in pain, Dr. Gains looked over at his coworker. 

Jessica looked curious and tapped her finger on her cheek as she often did when she had something on her mind.

“What?” Greggory said, knowing she was about to ask him something.

“You did make sure that the Security Switch Backup was plugged in, correct?”

Dr. Gains froze in place in front of the Test Desk, horror-struck. He feared moving out of the way from an incredulous feeling rising up from the back of his brain.

Dr. Martin’s eyes narrowed at him, then below the desk.

“If – for some reason – the Security Switch Backup button was not plugged and the Main System went offline, then it would not have gotten the power from the backup generator for the lasers to be activated. The electrical socket underneath that desk you are standing in front of runs on a separate backup power system from the computer system the Testing Desk. The Security Switch Backup should be plugged into the floor right behind you. It should…”

She sauntered closer to him with her arms crossed until she was right in front of his face as he became quiet and still like a mouse cornered by a snake.

“And I recall that you responded in the affirmative when I asked this morning on my daily To Do Checklist that I do every time we conduct an experiment that everything that we need is plugged in….” 

She tilted her head, eyeing underneath the desk, but Dr. Gains did not budge an inch. He honestly could not move out of fear and anxiety of the truth.

“Is the Security Switch Button plugged in, Doc-tor Greg-go-ry?” She said slowly.

Dr. Gains gulped.

“Ye-yes…I am positive – sure it is – indeed – plugged in,” he said with the utmost lack of confidence like a kid who forgot how to lie.

She swept past him and ducked under the desk to search and investigate.

“AH-HA! It’s not plugged in!” Jessica proclaimed and held up the cord to his now ghostly face.

He felt a deep emotion of shame overcome him.

“Oh -well. We all are human and forget these things. Don’t worry Dr Greggory.” Jessica said with a shrug, then tapped his shoulder in a friendly manner.

Although still in distress from worrying about how to handle this situation, he relaxed a little.

That was a positive aspect of Jessica, while she liked to brag about her achievements, she was not arrogant enough to make fun of anyone when they made mistakes. 

Notably, her teaching skills were very refined. 

She single-handedly gave him a tour of SL3, explained in-depth the computer software manual used in the lab, and gave the best tips on which cafeteria had the best food. She had high standards Like Dr. Gains’ father did, yet never made him feel bad for his constant failures. She never yelled at him out of malice like General Staton, rather most of the time it was out of excitement.

 “Here’s the plan! Take one of your little robots and see if you can get the dogs to go from the vents out to Sub-Level 2, then I will take one of them by surprise and use him as a lure to trap them all in one place! Jessica commanded with excitement. 

 Dr. Martin ran off with her white coat fluttering like a cap. 

She did not even wait for an answer from him, which was fairly normal. However, this whole ordeal was going to be massive pain as those dachshunds were playfully mischievous, cunningly adaptive, and highly dangerous with the drones equipped. 

At least the missile launchers were deactivated. 

Dr. Gains pushed up his shaggy hair from his eyes and adjusted his broken framed glasses that he repaired with glue and tape instead of getting a new pair. 

He liked this pair.

“I should be getting those bots!” Greggory declared, marching off to his Work Desk #3. 

A hundred feet over, he went to another computer station that was covered in scattered circuit boards and wires. It was a twisted mess of robotic scraps. 

On top of one of the tables was a large docking station that held a round metal sphere that was bluish in color. 

He unplugged the sphere and pressed a button on the computer. It blinked with different colored lights as it powered up and initialized. Then it popped open like an armadillo. It could also extrude spikes from its back if necessary like a hedgehog.

This was the RHMBA robot or Rolling Hedgehog Mobile Bomb Analyzer – otherwise known to him as Maurice.

It was supposed to be a prototype bomb locator and diffuser. Nowadays, the only thing it was used for was office pranks on his friend Henry from the Sub-Level 1.

Right as he was recalling his past memories, his cell phone rang. 

He immediately picked up while he fiddled with Maurice’s controls.

“Dr. Greggory! You better not be gleefully enjoying the nostalgia of your past robotic exploits. I had a – aahhaa – heck of a time running up all – ahhaa – those stairs – ahhaa – since the elevator was taking too -ahhh- long.” Jessica warned in between breaths. 

Over the phone, he heard her shout “AHHA! GOTCHA! You beautiful little butthead!” 

There was a loud exchange of rustling noises and barking, then silence, and then more banging on walls like a life and death fight that had just gone down.

“Dr. Greggory! I’ve secured the weenie dog and I think he is the only one for now. He is named…Gunny! What an odd name.” Jessica breathed out as she read the dog tag.

“I did not get to name him or Wagner, unlike the other three, but I think it’s a nice name.” Greggory said adjusting the settings of Maurice.

“Whatever! I don’t think the other dogs have gotten out of the vent system yet! Why can’t you be a GOOD BOY!?” Dr. Martin shouted, clearly in some distress.

“He is a good boy, Dr. Martin! Just look him in the eyes!”

“All I can see is his butt! He is flying, remember!”

“Oh – yeah, that does present a problem, but it’s good that you found him. Wagner is sure to come after him.”

Wagner and Gunny were best friends who loved lick each other more than cats did to themselves. It was clear that they stuck together when he received and babysat the dogs since last week. 

How easy it was to form bonds with them, of course, he was a dog person.

Dr. Gains picked up a video game controller and made Maurice jump off the desk. 

“I would rather just call him with a unique identifier and version number. STAY STILL GUNNY!” Dr. Martin retorted.

Dr. Gains sat down in a chair at the computer.

Maurice had a camera mounted on its body, feeding the visuals back to his computer screen so he could navigate it from far away. With a click of a button, he sent the robot into ball mode, then it spun real fast and shot into one of the open wall vents. He would be able to see the bot move through the air ventilation system.

He talked to Jessica on speaker phone. From the sound of it, she was still having trouble calming Gunny down.

“Why can’t you stop floating?!” she yelled at Gunny.

“You know, Dr. Martin, I can kind of see why The General is so mad, now. This is probably going to cause a lot of trouble, like the time I accidentally let loose a self-driving tank for the fourth of July indoor parade.” Greggory talked with his phone on speaker mode.

“Kinda? He’s always mad at Sub-Level 3. Not just you. Even before you got here and it was just me and the previous guy that disappeared, Stanton hates any scientists who work here.” Jessica said struggling with Gunny, “Oh! Hey! Why the heck are you licking my pants! Stop licking everything–”

 Jessica struggled with more loud bangs and a couple of screams from other people, “Ok! I managed to disengage half the missiles from the drone on Gunny. The other half is stuck in the missile compartment. The controls on the drone are not working at all! And the harness is impossible to get off!”

Dr. Gains looked at his phone wondering about the chaos going around her as he heard screams of other people in the background, but he had confidence in her ability, so he looked back at his screen.

It was like he was playing a video game. Maurice had spotted no dogs so far. Around each corner, his rolling robot sped through masses of spider nests and rat packs who squeaked in anger. There needed to be some discussion with the janitorial staff about cleaning it. 

Wait! He could build a robot to do that! 

He made a mental note to do just that and hoped that the robot would not explode. “Where are you, good boys?” Greggory pleaded as he sent Maurice deeper into the maze of the vents.

The tracking screen showed Maurice were close to their location, but he did not see them.

“Why don’t you get Caroline on the line?” Jessica suggested, “or is it Coraline? She helped me yesterday with one of my projects. If the other dogs are as bad as Gunny is, then we will have a stinky mess on our hands and heads – Hey! No, no, no! No, POOPING there! YOU’RE A GOOD BOY! BE A GOOD BOY!”

He heard the sounds of a disruptive dog yapping, then the sound of crashing.

“Ah! Not her! She’s creepy – and she is called Caroline.” Greggory said, looking at the screen intensely. 

Maurice stopped at the edge of long vertical shafts, going up and down.

“Dr. Greggory! It’s not the time to be antisocial and she is really fun to talk to. She is not creepy even if we never see her in IRL – Hey! Stop licking me! I saw where you just licked yourself!” Jessica shouted away from the phone.

It sounded like Gunny escaped from her grasp as her voice became a little distant for a second, “Gotcha! And – she’s a computer IT wiz and might be able to help us right now deactivate the drones! She could also diagnose the cause of the blackout which contributed to this whole incident.”

“I – I don’t trust her yet Dr. Martin. We invited her to the Christmas Party, but she did not show up. I have a funny feeling about her – something I can’t quite shake. And all we know is her first name- if that’s her real name at all!”

“You just don’t want to talk to her because you had an awkward conversation with her right before the Christmas Party on the IT phone line! And you do realize most of the SLI staff around here have code names or aliases while working at SLI. You know that lunch lady that gives you extra brownies on Monday – “

“Senora Blue Rose -”

“- yeah her – that’s not even her real name!”

“What! Well – I didn’t want to judge! And fine, I agree we still need to get to know Caroline, but why don’t you call her?” Greggory asked, trying to deflect responsibility.

It was really an embarrassing phone call and since that time he avoided using the IT help line.

“Because, I am dealing with a dog that is not potty trained right now while talking to you on speaker phone! You should get to know your co-workers more. Call her and ask her for help while you chase the other dogs! I’ll be busy setting Gunny up in the main central break-room! Jessica out!” Jessica shouted and hung up. 

Dr. Gains sat in silence for a few seconds of consideration, then pushed up his glasses that kept falling down his nose. 

He really did need to order a new pair.

“I can do this without her! No need to bug ole Caroline. She doesn’t need to know my errors and then be smug about it and fix my problems for me.” Greggory said as he rationalized to himself.

He tilted the camera on Maurice up and down to view the vent shaft that went up and down. It was hard to tell from the GPS tracker the exact location, but if he had to guess, Wagner would lead his band of doggie brethren upwards. 

Dachshunds have short feet and are low to the ground. They would want to know what higher ground was like now that they had upward mobility thanks to the drones.

Dr. Gains hit another button on the controller sending a graphing hook from Maurice to the top of the air vent allowing it to climb up the wall. At the top, right over the edge, he spotted some dark shapes on the screen.

He pushed Maurice forward slowly, pressing the D-pad on the controller gently.

There was a low growling sound accompanied by the sound of turbines ahead.

Out from the shadows, a pair of glowing eyes slowly approached. Dr. Gains now had eyes on the experiments. 

The drone was made of eight small propellers attached to eight arms that met in the middle. On both sides of the drone were two large rectangular boxes that contained the missiles. Right below the drone was the harness that held each of the dachshunds in place. A dog-sized helmet protected their little heads from injury and fed the input for directions through a cerebral implant as well as the mounting for the camera. The brain chip gave them access to flight controls, but it was only supposed to be limited control. 

It seemed somehow the dogs mastered how to drive the drone quicker than Dr. Gains would have thought possible. 

“Good puppies…Now come follow Maurice! Listen to my voice! This is your beloved Greggy!” Greggory said through a microphone on his desk.

Maurice rolled out onto its arms to walk forward while Dr. Gains spoke through it as it walked forward.  

One of the dogs floated forward into Maurice’s headlamp.

That dog let out a low growling sound.

“AH! There you are, Wagner! It’s me, Greggory! I am controlling a robot!” Greggory exclaimed. 

The dog kept growling.

He was tan-colored, had short hair, and had big beautiful brown eyes that sparkled with mischief and pure anger at the moment.

“Ok – Wagner – easy boy – follow my voice back to the lab please,” Greggory asked nicely as he could.

That did not work.

“BARK! BARK! BARK!” Wagner barked, then snarled at Maurice.

Wagner did not recognize him.

“Oh no…” Greggory said in dismay.

Knowing Wagner, he predicted what was about to happen.

Wagner bared his long canine teeth and flew at full speed at Maurice, which Dr. Gains made roll back up into a defensive ball, but the teeth caught the camera. 

The screen went black. 

A few seconds later, he heard his robot smash back down into the ventilation tubes from above.

“Oh, dear.” Greggory moaned, “poor Maurice. That was the third one too.”

He looked at the GPS window on his computer screen and saw that the dogs were exiting the ventilation shaft onto Sub-Level 2, so at least part of the plan was going well.

In that moment of sadness for his fallen robot friend, another call came in on his phone.

An unknown number at that.

He picked it up with a tinge of unease, hoping it was not The General.

“Ohhhh – Greggy boy.” said a slightly modulated voice.

It was her.

Even her voice was disguised. 

Perhaps she worked for an Intelligence Agency.

“Caroline. How did you get this number?” Greggory said with surprise.

“I have all the numbers. To…everything.” she said smugly, “I know that you called me creepy too. I am not!”

Dr. Gains did a 360-degree turn to look for her, but he was all alone. He peeked under his desk, around some shelves, running around to spot anyone. In a last ditch effort, he climbed a broken LAV-25 tank to see over some of the mess of the lab near him.

No one was in sight.

“Do you have access to the cameras here?” he said nervously into his phone.

“I see and hear everything.” she said menacingly.

“Ah!” Greggory shrieked.

“Except for the bathroom. I told you I am not a creep. I help out with cybersecurity when I am not fixing the network or reassigning passwords because half the people at this place seem to forget theirs. And that’s why I know about your mistakes – I hear a lot of gossip on email chains. I even know that Wagner is heading towards Gunny. And that you getting the munchies is what is going to get you fired.”

“I was really hungry! Science makes you want snacks!”

“Ok, Dr. Snack.” she mocked.

“Just…please help me.” Dr. Gains said with slumped shoulders.

He put his hands in his coat, and let out a sigh of indignation.

“Not just because Jessica told you too?” Caroline said disdainfully.

“Not just because Dr. Martin asked me to…also because you help get people out of trouble and I am in trouble. Sorry for not calling you earlier and calling you creepy. I was the one in error.”

“Ok!” she said without a pause, “since you asked nicely and sounded sincere, I will.”

Dr. Gains flung his head up with a smile.

“Good! What about the kill switch –”

“Already running diagnostics of that blackout and system reset as we speak. As for the kill switch for the drones – I discovered there was a virus embedded into the hardware when I tried using the WiFi to connect to them. It will be difficult to devise a solution without getting a direct connection to the drones. We will have to capture them first. Understand Greggory Theodore Rodgers Gains?”

“How do you know that? Did you read all of my personnel file?!” Greggory said, horror-struck.

“I did! Haha – but no worries I am one to keep secrets…”

“Just don’t say them ok – they’re embarrassing. You can join us….for lunch on Fridays…we will save you a seat and set up a laptop for you to have a conference call on.” Greggory reluctantly said what Dr. Martin wanted him to say.

“Yay! That sounds fun! I’ve been meaning to get together with someone outside of work problems. All I talk about with other SLI employees are printer related problems.” Caroline said enthusiastically. 

“That sounds – good. Nice talking to you – I’ll go help Jessica with the dogs now since you got the IT side of things!” Greggory said quickly and hung up. 

He put down his phone with relief and walked over to a dented metal cabinet. Inside, he picked up a large cylinder gun that was hanging on a hook. By all standards, it was an oversized t-shirt gun that shot out dog food. 

It was called the POW Chow Cannon or Parabolic Offensive Waiter Chow Cannon. He hoped this would distract them enough for them to get the missiles off the drones.

He looked at the cannon with glee. 

It was fun to use.

“You won’t make it on your own. I’ll come with you.” Caroline said as a window popped up on the computer screen nearby.

“WHAW!” Greggory screamed, “how? Why?”

Dr. Gains bent and looked at the screen. 

There was no face, only a graphic longitudinal wave that appeared to show the waveform while she talked. 

“You need my help. I’m coming with you!” Caroline answered, “and I can get access to most systems in this lab.” 

Dr. Gains pushed up his glasses again, despite that not helping with what he just heard.

“Come with me, you say. You’re finally going to make an in-person appearance?” Greggory asked, dumbfounded.

“Turn around and see for yourself.”

Dr. Gains turned slowly around. 

All he saw was more work desks, shelves, and the giant concrete wall where the elevator was located. It was like a flat stone mountain that rose all the way to the metal rafters up top. No one was around him, unless they were hiding behind a desk or a shelf.

She must be playing a trick on him, he thought as Dr. Gains peeked around a nearby shelf of old microscopes. 

“BLAH!” Greggory screamed as something poked his side.

He spun back around to see a tele-robot with small robotic arms. 

It was simple in design, a circular-shaped tv screen on a pole attached to a wheel and tread base. On the screen was a smiling emoticon face that helped convey the voice of Caroline. 

“Was your robot proxy already here?” Greggory asked and poked the robot back, not remembering it ever being down here. 

If it was here he probably mistook it for trash. 

“You should always assume it was or maybe I am that good at sneaking around without you knowing.” Caroline said cryptically. 

 The screen turned to a winking emoticon and the robot arms shrugged.

“I call it the Caroline Bot or C-Bot for short. Now, are we getting these dangerous pups or not?” 

Dr. Gains was at loss for words, but shook it off, grabbed the POW Chow Cannon and followed after C-Bot.

She was heading straight past the Chemical Desk and the Explosive Desk towards the elevator.

They stopped in their tracks when red lights started flashing in unison with an emergency bell going off every few seconds. From every direction, the emergency intercom system came online, and the walls vibrated with a loud echoing voice.

“This can’t be good.” Greggory said, knowing he really messed up now.

“Attention Special Projects Team of Sub-Level 3! This is your Sub-Level Installation Base Commander speaking.” stated a commanding voice.

Colonel Elise Gambit was the Base Commander of the Sub-Level Installation. 

Other than General Stanton who headed the entire secret base project, Colonel Gambit was next to the chain command of the chain. When Stanton was gone on some other duty off base, Gambit called the shots. 

 “It has come to my attention that a couple of elongated furry animals equipped with lethal aerial combat apparatuses have escaped your lab’s confines to the Sub-Level above. I have evacuated most personnel from Sub-Level 2. The remainder will take shelter wherever possible. I will not risk any additional SLI staff getting hurt from incidents in your lab, therefore until this situation is resolved, I have locked all connecting pathways from the Sub-Level 1 to Sub-Level 2 and below. You are on your own! If this threat is not contained in the hour, not only will I enforce an additional stiff fine on both scientists of SL3, but I will terminate the one responsible. Good luck and dog speed!”

The intercom went silent.

“Oh boy.” Greggory moaned, “I knew I should have given her a bigger gift basket for the Christmas party.” 

Dr. Gains hated deadlines. 

They made him feel overly anxious. 

C-Bot picked up a weapon from the Weapons Desk that had been recently repaired by Dr. Martin. 

It was the NET Cannon or Net Extruder Trapper that was similar to the POW Chow Cannon except it shot out nets.

“Come on Greggy Boy! I will not let little ole Gambit fire you. You got Caroline and her trusted C-Bot to help!”

Dr. Gains shook his head in dismay.

Weapons in tow, they ran to the elevator doors. 

On complete chance, the doors opened right as they approached without touching the call button. 

  The loud blaring noise of the alarm must have hidden its descent, otherwise it was easy to hear. 

The doors slid apart to reveal a pizza man with a yellow hat and shirt, green cargo pants, sandals, and red pizza insulator bag. 

He also had shaggy hair and a goatee. 

“Cindy’s Pizza Delivery! Here with a warm smile and warmer pizza.” said a cheerful young man. 

It was appalling to both Dr. Gains and C-Bot, who both looked at each in confusion. They were surprised to see how a pizza delivery guy got this far into a Top Secret Military Installation on his own with no Security Handler.

He held the pizza bag in his arms and stood there blanket-eyed until the doors closed.

Dr. Gains pushed the elevator button again to open the doors.

The pizza guy took another second, then peeked his head out with a mystified gaze.

“Whooh. Do you guys have four sub-levels? I’ve only delivered down to three of them so far ….this discovery is like – really…radical.”

There were three sub-levels and one “ground level”, which was Sub-Level 0. It made no sense since it was still underground, then again with no windows on that floor who knew if it was actually a “sub-level” level.

“Is this guy for real?” Caroline asked Dr. Gains.

His entire look was ripped out of a stereotypical pizza man handbook. Dr. Gains could not believe how accurately those movie character types happened to fall in line with reality. 

“Well, we didn’t order any pizza.” Dr. Gains pointed out.

“It’s on my order list, dude. I don’t question it, I just deliver it.”

C-Bot tugged Dr. Gains inside the elevator with the pizza guy.  

“This is a Top Secret lab in a hidden location that not even I know where it is located after being blindfolded and put into a soundproof box! I feel like this might be a national security breach.” Greggory said in a tizzy.

The elevator doors closed, but they did not move up.

“Serenity my man – just breathe – I get lost all the time, but I always make it to the right location in the end. We are travelers in this wacky world of ours. Cut loose and find your center.” 

The pizza guy closed his eyes and breathed in like he was doing meditation. Dr. Gains did the same until his head was pulled to the side.

C-Bot had pulled Dr. Gains’s ID Security Badge on his neck and scanned it to activate the elevator and pressed SL2. 

“That’s pretty good advice, Pizza Man. I am also stumped as to how you even accessed this floor.” Caroline said, with a question mark appearing on her LED face screen.

“The name’s Lee Thompson, Miss Robot Lady. And I don’t know. I deliver here all the time…doors just seem to open for me. I also get lost in all these hallways and forget where I am. Must be my good vibes, ya know that guide me to where I need to go.” Lee said, touching his heart with one hand.

Dr. Gains was flabbergasted! 

To get anywhere in the SLI you needed a security clearance badge, eye retina scan, or escorted by someone with higher badge access. In the worst case scenario, you were taken into custody as a prisoner for losing an ID badge.

In some places, there was security just to get into the bathrooms!

The elevator abruptly shifted and rose slowly. 

A loud scraping sound was emitted from outside in the shaft. It did this every day he used it. Sometimes there was a loud bang like a body falling on top of it. 

“However you got here. If you check out with the Front Desk Manager, Mrs. Tidwell, she should be able to sort this out. And provide you with official access.” 

“What about this pizza?” Lee asked, taking it out of the pizza bag.

The scent of the pizza was magical and put him under a spell. It danced up his nostrils, causing him to have a hallucination that he was lying on a bed of cheese, bread, and pepperoni, making pizza angels.

Dr. Gains had forgotten that his appetite was denied with all the excitement.

“We will take it!” Caroline said, “we always treat the pizza person with respect. Tip him well for his trouble!” 

“Thanks my dudes,” Lee said with a smile.

In one hand she had the NET Cannon and in the other C-Bot took the pizza from him while Dr. Gains patted his pockets for his wallet. In a series of awkward utterances, he realized it must have fallen out downstairs. Quickly he pulled out a credit card from his ID Badge holder. 

For certain expenditures relating to the lab. 

Dr. Gains could use the SLI credit card. 

It was in General Stanton’s name, but he was pretty sure The General wouldn’t mind.

“Here you go.” Greggory gave the card to the pizza guy who ran it with his card reader.

He then opened the box C-Bot had. 

“I have been wanting something to snack on for too long!”Greggory said and picked up a warm slice of pepperoni pizza. 

He watched the cheese stretch out into his hand in glee. 

If he got fired, at least he had pizza.

The elevator shook a little again although now with less scraping. It was rising extra slowly today. He guessed that is why Dr. Martin took the stairs.

She was good at running really fast up and down them. 

Dr. Gains was finishing up chewing the crust of the pizza he saw an odd sight.

C-Bot opened a compartment at the base of the wheels, dropped a slice in, and closed it as if it had just thrown food into the garbage compactor.

“Dude…did that robot just eat pizza?” Lee said with amazement.

He gave Dr. Gains a receipt to sign.

Dr. Gains was as confused as he was, wondering if he ate a pizza sauce with a little too special spice.

With a series of beeps, C-Bot’s screen flashed a 100% charged battery icon.

“Guys – I can convert organic substances into energy, so C-Bot can function when the battery is not charged.”

“Amazing.” Greggory said as the elevator binged.

They had finally arrived at the next level.

The screen at the top of the doors displayed SL2.

The doors opened to a small empty room with a maintenance closet, waiting room chairs, and the second set of doors that led to the main exterior hallway. The lights on this floor were flashing, but the alarm sound was silenced. 

Dr. Gains noticed the doors ahead of him were bent and dented in a way that it was not this morning. He had a bad feeling that the missiles were no longer deactivated. 

Dr. Gains and C-Bot got out.

“Ok.” Greggory looked back at the pizza guy, “Since the floors above us are locked, stay in this room until the lights stop blinking red, then hit the emergency button in the elevator. It should connect to emergency services and Ms. Tidwell on SL0.” Greggory said, hoping he would not get lost and spend a night in the installation holding cells.

“45% tip…prodigious my dude! Thanks.” he said, not even listening to the directions.

The pizza guy did not exit the elevator, rather waved goodbye as the elevator door started to close, oblivious to everything happening around him.

“Oh! Watch out for the flying dog’s man. They are cute, but are pooping everywhere.” 

The elevator shut completely. 

“He’ll be fine.” Caroline said, then opened the second set of doors with a third extending arm from the pole.

Lee was right.

They stepped out to utter madness. 

Carts were on fire, walls were broken, and doors were blown asunder. Lights had been damaged, making dark alleys in some hallways illuminated only by the flashing red lights.

“Duck!” Greggory yelled as he jumped to the side.

C-bot contracted the pole which held her display monitor as the missile flew right above her screen and exploded into the wall, destroying a water fountain. That shot was not intended for accuracy. 

“I thought these were good boys?” Caroline said as both of them took shelter behind a fallen filing cabinet. 

Dr. Gains stood up and fired off a round of dog food with the POW Chow Cannon.

DUMMMPFFF!

The cannon blasted out puppy chow into the air toward the dogs hovering in the middle of the hallway. Unfortunately, in that instant, one of the other dogs barked and caused another missile to shoot out. It vaporized the dog food before the dog noticed what was flying toward them. 

The three dachshunds were excited, doing aerial maneuvers, loops, and chasing their tails. 

The ability to fly had only amplified the dog’s ability to create disorder. 

Dr. Gains gritted his teeth and took cover again.

“They are good boys! It’s only if they get excited or really scared that they start to fire the missiles. They don’t mean to do it – it was just a miscalculation in their neuron inputs! They are not supposed to even be able to access the missile launching command.” Greggory said, disappointed his dog food cannon did not save the day.

“It must be the fault of the virus!” Caroline exclaimed. 

C-Bot extended herself back up and aimed her NET Cannon at the dogs. 

It shot out a net to entangle the drone above the dogs. Yet, the dogs got excited again and shot off a missile, destroying the flying net. A piece of debris was also flung out from the explosion and hit the NET cannon, breaking it.

She threw the cannon away in annoyance. 

“They are not going to make this easy on us. This is no ordinary puppy love.” Caroline complained, ducking again.

Dr. Gains looked around the hallway and could see puddles of urine everywhere. By this time most everyone was gone. There were several safe rooms installed in rooms, but once those were closed it could not be unlocked until Colonel Gambit unlocked them.

Anyone outside in these hallways like Dr. Gains and Dr. Martin, were risking their lives.

“We at least have to get closer to them.” Greggory said, “we can figure something else later.”

“Then let’s do it like a stealth game.” Caroline said, collapsing her robot into a more compact version.

Her main pole collapsed along with her arms. She looked more like a mobile trash can with a display screen which was holding a pizza box.

She rolled behind another busted filing cabinet, then over to a desk that had been overturned, making sure the floating weenie dogs did not spot her as they barked at each other and wandered down the hallway. 

Dr. Gains followed her lead crawling on all fours like a dog.

“You really messed this one up.” Caroline mocked in a low whisper.

Dr. Gains sighed as he slumped against the wall by the desk, thinking about his mistakes and inevitable termination. 

“You’re right Caroline – I am the worst. I reek of failure and ineptitude. Nothing I do will please anyone. I should just let myself be destroyed by these attention-seeking lovely dogs and get it over with.” Greggory said, closing his eyes.

This would be his final resting ground. 

His parents would receive a letter explaining some made-up cover story. Hopefully, it was dignified enough to send them a shiny and honorable medal once it got declassified.

“Sooo dramatic.” Caroline said, giving him the rolling eyes emoji, “look, Greggory! You are brilliant! Your biggest problem is that you have an inferiority complex which makes sense why you were paired with Jessica, who has a superiority complex.”

“She is so brilliant and beautiful, especially compared to me.” Greggory commented.

C-bot punched his arm to make him realize his own self-critical attitude.

“OWH!” he said and jerked away.

Another explosion rocked the basement as the dogs fired a missile across the hall. 

“Get it together! You are capable!” Caroline said encouragingly, “keep saying that until you believe it.”

“I am capable! I can do something of worth!” he repeated.

Dr. Gains leapt up and aimed his cannon for an open office. As long as it was not going directly at them, it should work.

The doggy treats flew into the room, attracting the three dachshund drones to check out the treats.

It worked!

“That will distract them for a few moments until we come up with a plan. I hope!” Dr. Gains said with an upbeat attitude.

Caroline was about to say something else when someone interrupted their squabble.

“Hey, pizza!” said a voice near their feet, “good day Dr. Gains, and a robot I’ve not seen before. Can I have a slice?”

A tall man with high cheekbones and slick back hair crawled on all fours through the smoke and dust towards them. He had on a blue button-up with a pink bow tie and khaki pants.

“Henry from accounting. What are you doing here? I thought you worked on Sub-Level 1.” Greggory said, confused.

Before Henry could answer, C-Bot thrust the pizza box towards him.

“Henry from accounting! I’ve fixed your computers before.” Caroline said and let Henry have a slice of cheese pizza. 

“Mmm. This is good – mhh – yeah- I remember now! You run the -mmh- support line. I can’t believe my ethernet cord -mmh -was unplugged. Such an easy fix! Coraline right?” he said, chewing voraciously while still on the floor.

He was too tall to sit up and take cover.

“Caroline actually,” Caroline said, a little embarrassed.

“A- mhh- gotcha – mhh Caroline.” Henry corrected himself.

“Oh – to answer your question, Dr. Gains,” Henry said, wiping pizza sauce from his face, “I like going to the bathroom on this floor. Not long ago, I walked out of the bathroom and saw a big commotion going on here – all of a sudden, someone shouted, ‘a dog is licking me in the face!’ and I’m thinking “well it’s a good thing I’m tall’. Suddenly, I saw the dogs flying toward me using drones and I was ‘Oh god! They fly now!’ So I ran away in panic, got lost in some hallways which came back around to them, but hey I found free pizza!” 

Henry finished his story, licked his fingers free of sauce, then pulled out a wet wipe and hand sanitizer. He was clean, precise, and neat, which made up for his messy eating habits and talking while eating.

Dr. Gains peeked over the desk and saw that the dogs had returned to the hallway. Having still chewed the remainder of the puppy chow they had not resumed firing missiles.

“I see Dickens, Blake, and Milton. Dr. Martin is setting up a trap with Gunny. I don’t see Wagner anywhere. What does the GPS say?” Greggory said.

“Checking the active trackers right now….” Caroline said and pulled up blinking red dots on the C-Bot screen.

“I only see those three near us. Gunny is with Jessica in the break room in the center SL2. The strange thing is that Wagner is not even showing up on the tracker. His chip is probably malfunctioning.” Caroline informed him.

“Wagner!” Greggory hit his fist on the floor. 

He was one of the worst troublemakers despite having such glowing bright brown eyes that made your heart melt.

“Wagner. The 19th-century German composer?” Henry said surprised while trying to open a bag of chips, “he’s here too! Did you use the corpse reanimation? I recommended to Stanton that the machine needs to be decommissioned and incinerated since the Halloween incident.” 

Dr. Gains did realize the SLI was a truly strange place when zombies had been an unplanned addition to the Halloween party last year. It was still an unsolved mystery on how the machine became activated. 

“No. The dachshund in the drone is named Wagner.  He’s the ringleader of this all – well – maybe – I am not sure how this all happened yet. Me and Dr. Martin and have a plan to capture them! I can bet he is going after one of the other dachshunds, named Gunny first before trying any other air raids on the other levels.” Greggory explained. 

Henry, who was barely listening to the conversation, popped a soda can open and took a long sip as it bubbled over. Somehow he managed to find a dented one, probably from a vending machine blown to smithereens.

Dr. Gains was about to say something when someone else appeared.

“Hey nice seeing you guys here!” said a woman, who skidded next to Henry, “All the safe rooms are locked. Hey nice robot!” 

She wore a bomber jacket over a grey jumpsuit and her entire head was obscured by a fighter pilot helmet. It had a large dark tint on the visor, which took up most of the helmet. She spoke through a speaker in the helmet as her mouth was covered up. 

Dr. Gains assumed the Heads Up Display was amazing, like being in a futuristic power suit from video games. 

“Captain Lisa Vista! From the Air Force! Nice to see you.” Henry said, still on the floor drinking soda as he shook her hand.

“It’s Caroline by the way.” Caroline said, displaying her name on C-Bot’s screen.

“Oh! You’re IT phone support. Nice! But what’s going on?” Lisa said looking around at everyone, “I get to SL2 to do a simulated beta testing of the new high-tech helmet for the next generation fighter jets, then weenie dogs start shooting missiles at me. I’m all for dodging practice, but this is a little out of my element.” 

She then noticed the pizza and took a slice from the box, opening a slot in the helmet to take a bite.

“It’s a long story.” Greggory said, mystified as to why she did not take off the helmet.

There was a strange sense of unity he was feeling from this group. Maybe he could turn this situation around with their help and not get fired. I suppose Dr. Martin would be happy he made friends in a moment of existential terror.

“Oh! You must be Dr. Gains from SL3! Jessica – I mean Dr. Martin and I have lunch together sometimes.” Lisa said to him.

Dr. Gains felt his cheeks flush, as he hoped it was nothing embarrassing that Dr. Martin shared with Captain Vista. 

“Ah-hem – getting back to Dr. Martin’s plan. We are waiting for her to call us when the trap is ready. Then we lure the dogs there.” Greggory reminded them, looking them all in the eye.

“Hey, a pizza party!” said another voice.

Out from a burning office, a man in a soldier’s uniform did a backflip out of a broken window, rolled to them, and then squatted next to Lisa.  

He had gray buzz cut hair and had wrinkles, yet was in exquisite muscular form. He wore a dark green tank top over his broad shoulders, dark cargo pants, and a jacket tied to his waist.

Dr. Gains had recognized this man.

 “Greetings, Second Lieutenant James LaMare!” Greggory said, cordially as LaMare ate a slice of pizza after seeing C-Bot holding the box.

He had encountered Lieutenant LaMare frequently in the Sub-Level 1 lunch area. The Lieutenant trained different SLI soldiers in hand-to-hand combat in the combat area there. 

LaMare was friendly, upbeat, and often blunt, but a good sport to be around. 

“So what the heck is up with this sudden bombardment? Who’s the poor sap who released these hell hounds? Sucks to be him.”

Dr. Gains signed as LaMare became distracted and ate another slice of pizza.

 “As I was saying – I need help. We got to take out the main dog, Wagner,” Greggory explained.

“I got you now.” LaMare pulled out a knife eight inches long from a sheath on his pants leg.

“NO! Absolutely no!” Greggory exclaimed and felt appealed that he would think of such a thing.

Lieutenant LaMare twisted his face in confusion.

“Sorry Doctor. I wasn’t listening. I was going to suggest cutting Henry’s bag of chips open. They are impossible to rip open. You gotta tear them with something sharp.”  LaMare said.

Henry, who found a stray bag of chips for his soda, was struggling in vain to open it while Dr. Gains talked.

Perhaps this was not an ad-hoc A-team he hoped it would be like in the movies.

“Wait! Something’s off -” Lisa said abruptly, noticing that there was no noise of missiles exploding. The only sound was the loud crunching of chips, which Henry stopped when he noticed their stares. 

In the middle of silence, all five of them, rose up above the filing cabinets to get a peek. 

They saw the dogs had formed a V shape like a flock of geese, all pointed at them.

Unlike before, the dogs started growling. There was something in this hallway upsetting them, enough to become unnerved.

“They’re doing a spearhead attack maneuver!” LaMare yelled.

“Run!” Caroline shouted and rolled away first.

Her robot was already taking off with a wacky series of beeps and boops.

Dr. Gains abandoned the POW Chow Cannon and ran with them.

Their group yelled in terror as all hell broke loose. 

The dachshunds became ecstatic and fired a volley of missiles at them as they ran around the long hallways. Walls crumbled, glass shattered, and the sprinklers went off. A random fire extinguisher flew around wildly after taking a hit.

“We need a plan! I’ll distract them! You run behind them to take them down one by one!” Greggory yelled to the others as he naturally fell behind while running.

He was the one most out of shape, so it should be his responsibility for him to be the bait. It was most likely the most courageous act he has ever done in his entire life. His job depended on it and it was this way he decided to display more confidence, which amounted to mostly stupidity. 

He shouted and waved his hands at the dogs, “Come and get me, you precious fur babies!”

Dr. Gains ran into a separate hallway that led to a room filled with shelves and filing cabinets. The overhead lights were bright and the ceilings were high enough for evasive maneuvers. 

The dog drones took a sharp turn right after Greggory, who they recognized the most. He ran down between the widely spaced shelves of documents and binders.

The rest of the team reversed their course and followed the dogs from the back. 

“Mr. Henry! You’re tall! Hold those pups from behind. Captain Vista! You’re small! Climb on the shelves and pull them down! The robot and I will take them down!” Lieutenant LaMare yelled, inspired by Dr. Gain’s courage. 

In a perfectly synchronized execution, the team divided and conquered. 

Henry effortlessly stretched his arms and snatched the dog named Milton out of the air, while LaMare used his knife to cut the harness and helmet off, separating the dog from the drone before it fired another missile. Lisa parkoured her way up the shelves, running on the top, and vaulted through the air, pulling down the dog named Blake and his drones so that C-Bot could cut the harness with a laser.

C-Bot caught Blake once the harness was burned off, sending the drone in an out of control flight, which managed to crash into the other.

In an explosion, both drones fell to the floor.

C-Bot then handed Henry Blake so that he was holding onto both dogs now.

“That leaves one down! Get Dickens!” Caroline exclaimed.

Since being disconnected from the drones, both Milton and Blake were no longer overstimulated and became more calm.

Henry did not have to struggle with them as he held them.

“I’ll babysit these guys! Help Dr. Gains!” Henry shouted, “Help Dr. Gains!”

The team nodded and ran further into the room, passing filing cabinets after filing cabinets, searching for Dr. Gains. 

“Where is he?!” LaMare yelled.

“I see him!” shouted Lisa who was perched up on top of a tall filing cabinet, “he’s cornered by Dickens! Two rows down to the right!” she jumped a shelf but slipped on some loose papers stacked lazily on top, falling off.

“Oh no!” LaMare shouted, as he ran towards Dr. Gains.

He saw the danger that was about to unfold. 

Dr. Gains was backed up against a wall with no way out. 

The dachshund with long black fur, who was named Dickens was one bark away from setting loose a missile straight at him.

A loud screech of wheels echoed in the hallway as C-Bot jetted in front of Greggory right as the dachshund-controlled drone launched the missile.

An explosion rocked the room as Dr. Gains crouched in fear. 

Pillows of smoke made the room cloudy, but it dissipated quickly. Dr. Gains opened his eyes to the sight of burnt wreckage scattered on the floor. 

It was the smoking remains of C-Bot. 

Caroline’s robot was destroyed.

“Caroline! Speak to me! Don’t die on me!” Greggory exclaimed, picking up the cracked screen that had broken off and thrown next to him. It was the only part that was not blown to bits.

“This — isn’t mmmy — reee– boooody Gregg–” and the electronic voice went silent. 

“NOOO!” Greggory screamed as LaMare and Lisa all joined the sad moment.

Dickens sensed something was wrong.

The drone slowly landed as he whimpered in sadness. Something about the shift in emotion altered the excited state of the dog causing him to stop any rash actions. Dickens walked over and nuzzled Dr. Gains right as his phone rang.

“He-hello?” Greggory answered solemnly.

“Cry, baby. I told you that was not my real body. I hijacked your phone so I can be kept in the loop.” Caroline said.

“I know it just felt wrong not to mourn, even if it was only C-Bot and not the real you. A robot’s death is always sad.” Greggory sniffed.

“That is.. really the epitome of melodrama – but – thanks, Greggory. Now! Put your phone near Dickens. I can deactivate the drone now!”

Dr. Gains placed his cell phone near Dickens as he petted his furry head. After a second, he heard a click and it deactivated the blades and released the harness. The tiny dog helmet popped off and Dickens was free.

The remaining missiles were taken off and handed to LaMare, who had his arms full of live ammunition.

Dr. Gains rubbed Dickens’ stomach, who appreciated it more that he saw the sour mood improve. This meant when the dogs were connected to the drone, it enhanced their excitement levels. 

Disconnection returned the weenie dogs to a more peaceful state. 

Dr. Gains had confirmed the hypothesis that the emotional overload of the dogs inadvertently caused the neural implants to issue a command to fire the missiles. The virus on the drones might have allowed the drones to become armed through an emotional connection, rather than a strict behavioral action or an input command from the computers.

It was strange that a virus had gotten onto the drones in the first place, let alone one able to alter the programming of the drone’s programming.

Another number started ringing on Dr. Gain’s call.

“It’s Jessica! I’m merging this call!” Caroline said, turning it into a three-way call.

 “Hey, Dr. Greggory! Where are you? I got Gunny set up in the break room! By the way, we are going to need an entirely new break room. Gunny is a handful even without active missiles going off!” 

“We managed to get three chipper pups out of the drones, safe and sound! Wagner should be on his way despite not showing up on the GPS!” Caroline answered.

“Oh! Coraline!” Jessica exclaimed.

“It’s Caroline.”

“Oh! Caroline! Good to know Dr. Greggory called you.”

“I called him.”

“Good to know that you called him. He needs help.”

“Hey!” Greggory interjected.

“And so do I – I am ready with a trap to spring on him, but I am going to need a backup. Get over here ASAP!” she shouted and cut the call short.

“We are heading your way! I managed to find some additional help!” Greggory triumphantly stood up. 

“Hi Jessica!” Lisa shouted at the phone.

“Captain Lisa! Good to hear you made friends Dr. Greggory!”

“Let’s go guys! Dr. Martin needs us!” Caroline shouted, still on the phone.

“I’ll stay here and play with these precious little ones.” Henry said, sitting down on the floor as all three dogs played and licked his pants, “you’re all good boys! You are! You are!”

“I am going to hang up now and await you all! Gunny is peeing everywhere again!” Jessica said and hung up.

The other four of them ran out into the hallways in the direction of the snack room. They needed to find the hallway that led to the center of the building.

“Which way do we need to go? I am not familiar with this level or any level.” Dr. Gains exclaimed to others.

Dr. Gains had been here for a year, yet that was hardly enough time for him to learn how to get around all dead ends, sudden turns, hidden rooms, and nonsensical layouts present on all the floors.

Caroline displayed a map on his phone.

“With exceptions to several connecting modules, Sub-Level 2 is shaped like an octagon, eight layers deep. In the center is the SL2 central snack room. Four central hallways also cut through each octagon ring. There is a maze of other hallways in between each octagon layer that will get you lost and is not intuitive to navigate.” Caroline explained.

“I do my regular training on SL1. SL2 makes less sense and SL1 and SL0 already made no sense. Whoever designed these places became more insane the further they built down.” Lisa said, looking around for the right hallway.

“Just follow my maps.” Caroline said, pinning a location for them to follow.

They ran behind Dr. Gains, who now led them towards their final fight.

“By the way – what should I do with all these missiles?” LaMare asked as he ran beside them, still carrying a handful of missiles.

“Throw them in the trash chute!” Greggory huffed and pointed to the wall.

There were small metal doors every so often on the side of the walls with a handle. Some were labeled for paper, plastic, metals, and others for miscellaneous toxic materials.

“But that seems like a waste of a good explosive.” LaMare complained. 

“We don’t have time! Dump it!” Caroline shouted.

LaMare reluctantly did as asked and shouted down “fire down in the hole” into the garbage chute.

Dr. Gains had no idea where the trash went as that was like many facility operations here, on a need-to-know basis. 

It was probably fine.

It took several minutes to find the right hallways and several more to run down to the center of the floor.

When they skidded into the Break Room, Jessica was already on the floor and holding her head.

“Dr. Martin!” Greggory yelled in fear.

As he moved toward her, he noticed something was covering her. It was transparent, but when looked at from a different angle, you could spot the imperfect light reflection. 

That was the GHOST Net or Grabbing Halting Obstructing Subduing Transparent Net. It was a mouthful of descriptive terms, but Dr. Martin designed it, so she named it.

After taking off the net, Dr. Gains and Lida helped her up.

“Ow-” Jessica said in response.

She then wiped her hands on her coat as she gained her composure.

“What happened to you!” Lisa said, looking down at the yellow puddle on the floor. 

“I was hyper-focused on determining which direction Wagner was about to attack from that I failed to notice when Gunny peed for the fifth time on the floor. I then slipped and fell into my own trap, while Gunny ran off with Wagner upon hearing his bark.” she sniffed herself with distaste.

LaMare helped with disentangling the GHOST Net from Dr. Martin.

“Wagner fired off a couple of his missiles in excitement as you can see from the state of the room.” Jessica said.

She picked up the missile box she had taken from Gunny and casually placed them next to a burnt-out microwave.

While Caroline filled in Dr. Martin about the virus, Dr. Gains looked around at the mess in the break room. 

It was far from the usual nice lounge area with sofas, egg-shaped chairs, and ice cream machines on each table. The black and white tile floor was shattered, leaving the bare concrete underneath exposed. 

It looked like a war zone. 

Broken vending machines, fridges, ovens, and crumbled circular tables and chairs were scattered around from a sudden stampede. The only thing untouched by sheer luck was the water cooler, which Dr. Gains walked over, took a paper cup, and chugged a good bit of water before throwing the cup on the floor.

Dr. Martin took off her lab coat and threw it aside, then she unzipped the ends of her cargo pants, turning them into shorts.

“We have another problem. I noticed it on the way here in the stairwell, there is a hole in the metal doors that Colonel Gambit shut during the lockdown. There is a way up to the other floors now.” Jessica explained to them, now doing stretches.

“Ah. Crap.” Dr. Gains moaned as he looked at his watch.

So he was going to get fired.

He had about fifteen minutes left to go by Colonel Gambit’s deadline.

“Do you think the dogs know about it?” Lisa asked, trying to make some coffee, but the coffee maker only made flames.

“Absolutely! Those dogs would be able to sniff this out. They already displayed signs of greater tactical ability. Combine that with their naturally powerful smell and I better believe that Wagner is on his way up there to get a snack before commencing a larger scale attack.”

“And it’s Taco Tuesday!” LaMare exclaimed, “El Taco Escondido is probably packed right now!”

El Taco Escondido was the best street taco restaurant and available only on Sub Level 1.

“I was planning to eat there as my last dinner before being fired!” Greggory yelled and held his head like it was going to explode.

“Not on my watch!” Jessica yelled and sprinted off down the hallway.

“Wow! I haven’t seen her this fired up since the War Games two years ago.” LaMare said and ran after her.

“It’s ok Dr. Gains! We got you.” Lisa said, running ahead. 

“Run already, Greggory! Chop! Chop! We got Tacos to save!” Caroline said from Dr. Gains’s phone.

“Right!” he answered and sped off.

The newly formed rag-tag gang ran down the hallway in hot pursuit of the peeing, pooping, missile-shooting doggy tornado of catastrophic damage, called Wagner and Gunny.

It was easy to follow the damage in the right direction without consulting the GPS map for Gunny.

Soon they all spotted Dr. Martin who was on the tails of Wagner and Gunny. She was yelling at them while throwing some tennis balls in their direction.

“Don’t you want to play with me!” Jessica screamed.

Wagner focused on nothing more than flying faster in the drone.

The others all started yelling, hoping to distract them, yet their voices fell silent.

Something started to crawl into Dr. Gain’s mind, a memory that he swept away this morning. He said something to Wagner that made him act out.

“Wagner! Are you mad at me!?” Greggory shouted.

Immediately upon hearing his voice, Wagner turned his head, barked, then took a right turn. There was something up with Wagner, almost like he wanted to be chased. 

It was at that moment, Dr. Gains realized his true mistake this morning.

Truly, Dr. Gains thought of himself as an idiot.

It was not merely being forgetful or living in a cursed lab, rather it was a fundamental rule at the heart of being a dog owner.

“If it’s a chase you want, it’s a chase you will get.” Greggory said.

He ran faster and caught up with Dr. Martin.

“ You go left and I’ll go right.” he said to her.

He pointed to three hallways ahead of them that inexplicably broke into three parallel corridors. 

She nodded. 

Dr. Gains went right, Dr. Martin went left, and Lisa and LaMare went in the middle right after Wagner and Gunny.

Dr. Gains propelled himself as hard as he could while running.

He had not exerted himself this much in the last ten years since he ran to his undergraduate classes each morning on account of being consistently late. He pushed up his glasses and pumped his arms like he was in a race.

Despite his effort he was the last to come out of the hallways, which all three opened up to the same room with an open space and higher ceilings. It was the lounge area with meeting rooms and ping pong tables. 

Dr. Martin and LaMare ran around Wagner in a pincer maneuver the moment his paw got stuck in the ping pong net by accident, but he activated the drone’s turbines on max thrust and jetted up at the last moment. 

Both Martin and LaMare collided and were knocked to the ground.

After that failed attempt, Lisa jumped onto the ping pong table and pounced at him, hoping to catch him off guard but it did not. 

Dr. Gains witnessed Gunny knock over a basketball hoop and interrupted Lisa from grabbing Wagner. 

The dogs were far swifter in the air than on the ground. Wagner and Gunny seemed to be four paws ahead of them, predicting their moments. With the higher ceilings, the dogs were at an advantage. 

They flew away from the mad scramble and went straight for the hallway leading to the stairwell. 

“That’s where the open door is!” Dr. Martin shouted and rushed after them as did the others.

Dr. Gains had to stop and catch his breath.

He put his hands on his knees and focused on steadying his breath. His glasses rested on the tip of his nose, nearly falling off many times during the chase.

 He wiped his sweaty forehead on his coat and adjusted himself when from the corner of his eyes, he noticed there was movement. For a second he swore he saw a flutter of some type of cloak from the side of his vision. 

Dr. Gains stood up and looked closer at the dimly lit meeting room near him. There was a large glass window and behind it, an empty conference table.

Strange.

He took a deep breath and ran after the others down the hallway out of the big room.

Dr. Gains skidded to a halt when he saw that everyone was on either side of the intersecting hallway with their backs plastered against the corners of the wall hiding from apparent danger ahead of them.

Gunny was floating in the middle of the hallway and acting as a guard so that Wagner could ascend the stairwell from a hole cut through the blast door. 

The four-inch steel door protecting the staircase had been burned through, making a large hole with the metal circle pushed to the side. 

It should have been blasted open by a missile, not cut by some laser weapon.

He had little time to analyze this observation any further.

“Jump!” all of them shouted at Dr. Gains, who was still frozen in place.

The second Dr. Gains dived to his left, a missile exploded right where he stood and the near miss caused Caroline to yell despite not being in danger herself.

Dr. Martin pushed him against the wall next to Lisa. LaMare was on the other wall, peeking at the situation. 

“Wait! How did Gunny use his missiles? I thought only Wagner had working ones!” Lisa exclaimed. 

“The other half were jammed! It should not be possible!” Jessica proclaimed. 

“Something abnormal happened. I noticed Wagner was missing one of his missile compartment holders. I think somehow he gave it to Gunny to replace the broken one!” shouted LaMare over another explosion. 

“How did they do that with their tiny paws and no thumbs! They can’t hold tools!” Lisa exclaimed.

“Maybe he used his mouth?” LaMare suggested, “I once used my teeth to turn a screwdriver to unscrew a door when both my arms were broken and tied behind my back after a bad helicopter crash on a side of a mountain while in enemy territory. It’s possible Wagner did something similar.”

“That is crazy!” Lisa commented.

“I did find a treat near Wagner’s cage that may be an experimental drug. One hypothesis is that it may have given him rapid intelligence acquisition. If that is true then he may have found a way to tinker with the drones.” Jessica considered.

“I mean LaMare’s past helicopter crashes. But this whole situation is really crazy too!”

“No time like the present! The courageous adapt!” LaMare shouted.

He rounded the corner, ran forward, and bounded off the wall. Midair, he grabbed onto a low-hanging pipe and swung himself towards Gunny with his arms outstretched. 

Gunny narrowly avoided him and LaMare crashed through a window of an empty office. 

Lisa, who followed right after LaMare, ran up behind Gunny and tossed her coat up in the air, blinding him.

At once, the frightened Gunny raced the drone forward along with Lisa. She was dragged into the wall where her helmet knocked hard against the concrete wall. 

She fell to the ground, unconscious. 

While Gunny was still blinded by the jacket, Dr. Martin used this time to grab onto him and finish what Lisa attempted.

“Gotcha! You cute poop demon!” Jessica yelled.

Still in an unexpected situation, blinded and confused, Gunny spun out of control along with Dr. Martin. 

He spun around in circles like a merry-go-round.

“WAAAAAAHHHAAAA!” Jessica screamed and went flying off through the air.

In the quickest reflexes he ever mustered, Dr. Gains caught her mid-air, although it was better described as he provided a landing mat for her body.

“Owww…” Greggory moaned in pain.

They were both lying on the floor.

“Thanks, buddy.” Dr. Martin said affectionately.

She knelt over Dr. Gains and craned her head over to Gunny, who was about to let out a bark of excitement, letting loose the last missile.

“GUYS! TALK TO ME!” Caroline shouted from the far wall.

His phone had gotten flung to the side. 

Dr. Gains stared at Gunny with hopeless eyes, accepting that they had been cornered. Lisa and LaMare were out of commission and Henry was too far away to help them.

Dr. Gain’s life flashed before his eyes. 

His memories were mostly of how awkward the Christmas party was for him. In hindsight, it was not so bad. All those anxious feelings were worth experiencing if it made him friends. 

 He was about to die, then get posthumously fired and buried into the darkest depths of governmental burial forms possible. 

Yet, he actually felt excited for once in his life to have a job! 

Every experiment he worked on in the past year and one month was a failure.

That was true. 

Throughout all the chemical spills, toxic gas explosions, and Geiger counter scares that Dr. Gains had encountered, he did gain valuable insight. He learned a lot about how to not carry out terribly conceived and formulated experiments. 

He had no control over what he was given, but he had control over what he learned. 

Who cares if it went on to change the world, he understood more about science and building robots while having fun Dr. Martin! 

He was not a failure for being here where he once assumed it was all because of sheer luck. 

Yes, he finally found his self-worth and a place to belong.

Caroline’s screaming became fainter to his ears, perhaps because he was in shock. The world seemed to go in slow motion as Dr. Gains looked at his co-worker who was still crouching on top of him, but looking towards Gunny. She was trying to not make any sudden moves that would set off the drone missile strike. 

Dr. Martin was a fighter, she would be devising a plan of action until the last second, even if it was all for nothing.

He thought about how glad he was to meet her.

Henry, Lisa, LaMare, and even the mysterious Caroline made this job worth it. His last regret was that he did not stay longer at the work parties and not getting Stanton a Christmas card.

Right as Dr. Gains was about to close his eyes in anticipation of his last moment, a bald man in a crisp suit walked out of a nearby bathroom. He was whistling and walked behind Gunny with no sense of apparent danger. The man had sharp eyes, dark skin, and a scar on the bridge of his nose. He looked familiar to Dr. Gains, but being in a delirious state, he could not tell who exactly the man was.

Gunny had not even noticed when the man plucked several missiles from the casing and tucked them underneath one of his arms for care.

Sensing something was amiss, Gunny turned around and noticed the person behind him. 

There was little time to bark as the man took out a taser-like object. It made an electrical hum, but no spark.

Immediately, Gunny dropped out of the air and into his hand and went from barking to a more docile state.

“Who’s a good dog! ” he said lovingly to which Gunny licked him.

Dr. Gains relaxed at the fortuitous rescue. 

His mind came back to reality and Dr. Martin helped him to his feet.

He now recognized this man from the Christmas Party after several embarrassing incidents. 

It was Special Agent Darrel!

He was the one who saved him from tripping down the stairs, slipping on a piece of cake, and helping with introductions when he forgot co-workers’ names. 

Darrel worked for SLI Internal Affairs doing who knows what, but Dr. Gains considered him like a guardian angel.

Dr. Gains picked up his phone and checked it for cracks.

“Agent Darrel to the rescue! Glad you are here. It took me a second, but I got access to this floor’s cameras. I felt completely useless!” Caroline said, from his phone.

Lisa also rose up and rubbed her helmet.

She had woken back up from being unconscious as did LaMare, who popped up from the shattered office window and dusted glass off his shoulders. He was bleeding from his forehead, but he failed to notice as he opened the door to the hallway. 

Lisa helped LaMare out with making a makeshift bandage.

Darrel stood there, petting Gunny’s head who happily obliged in attention.

Dr. Gains and Dr. Martin looked at how under control everything was now. 

Darrel had a remarkable analytical ability. He could be in the middle of a battlefield and plot a course of action in any situation with little preparation. 

Darrel told LaMare to dispose of the missiles he held, which he did so without question.

“I’m glad you are here, but we still got one more dog on the loose!” Jessica exclaimed, ready to run off.

Darrel held up a hand to stop her from going.

“I received word that the dog named Wagner has been intercepted, taken into custody, and the missiles have been appropriately taken care of. The current danger is over.” Darrel said, glancing at his own cell phone. 

He quickly put it back into his suit pocket.

“The lights did stop flashing after you disarmed Gunny.” Jessica said, looking around.

Given that the hallways were still empty, Dr. Gains assumed the safe rooms where other SLI staff took cover were not opened yet.

Darrel walked straight at Dr. Gains with Gunny still in his hands.

He was only an inch taller than him and hardly physically intimidating. Rather, he projected a sense of unknown hazard – you had no idea what he was capable of doing.

“Dr. Gains. Why did this dachshund have a missile?” Darrel asked, sternly.

He held up the cute, but dense-looking Gunny, who was tired and painting from all the excitement of flying around blowing up things and peeing everywhere he felt like it. 

Darrel handed the dog to Lisa and told her to get him some water, then he looked back to Dr. Gains.

Dr. Gains looked at his watch and noticed it was five minutes past an hour. 

Every minute counted in Colonel Gambits view. 

That was an iron clad rule.

He put his hands into the front pockets of his white coat with a lack of fear, content with his fate.

“Project Dragon was a dachshund-controlled drone program. I was supposed to be testing out the feasibility of using canine-controlled aerial vehicles for tactical support teams. The experimentees accidentally got out after I apparently forgot to plug in a security device. I am to blame for this pandemonium.” Greggory admitted.

Conversing with Darrel was easier than talking with Stanton.

When something went wrong with him near, it was comparable to talking to an older brother or cousin versus your parents. The tone was different and easier to come clean.

“You were going to put these cute animals in the forefront of a warzone? This project is completely insane. I will have a serious talk with Dr. Hammet about this terrible project being approved in the first place.” Darrel said calmly, but with a tone of reproach. 

Dr. Hammet was the Chief Scientist of SLI and presided over as Chair of the Special Projects Department. Dr. Gains knew little of who he was or even where his office was located in SLI. Occasionally he got one-word emails from him or attachments of shared academic research papers.

“If it helps with the ethical considerations, we were not considering them to be deployed into active duty. The idea was to train the dogs physically in the drones, get them used to it, then put them in a secured location in an A/C controlled room. For activation we would use remote controls in a simulated virtual reality environment. The dogs would be flying the drones, but be in no danger.” Greggory explained the rest of the project.

Darrel had an unfailing frown on his face. 

“I guess it was an oversight to have the missile launchers attached to the drones during the initial training. Especially since there was an error – I mean virus on them.” Greggory said.

“And a black out, which I believe was also caused by an additional virus from what my search of the networks indicate.” Caroline said, a little muffed from the front coat pocket of Dr. Gains.  

Darrel stiffened his neck with interest, then moved closer to the phone.

“Tell me more.” Darrel said, talking to Dr. Gain’s pocket.

To make this easier, Dr. Gains handed Darrel the phone so that he could walk off and talk to Caroline about security breaches. 

Lisa had come back from finding a bowl and some water for Gunny. She put him on the ground and petted him while he drank.

“Why dogs tho? ” Lisa said to Dr. Gains.

“What?” Greggory said, confused.

“For the experiment, why use a dachshund to pilot a drone?”

“He tried it with the lab cats first.” Jessica interrupted, “Those immediately tried to kill the both of us, even before he got them into the drones. Never let a cat near a blow torch.” 

“I mean dogs are people’s best friends.” Greggory countered, “I was told to use some animal, so I chose a soldier’s best ally. Dogs are intensely loyal and would shoot down any enemy that tried to hurt their soldier buddies. And that’s all the dogs they had in the Testing Department at the time.” Greggory said, defended his pet project despite him being ordered to complete it.

“They don’t seem particularly loyal right now, shooting the very ones who they love.” Lisa commented, holding Gunny to her face and letting him lick her helmet. 

“They haven’t been properly trained. It’s a game to them. They know not what they do.” Greggory said, patting Gunny’s head, “Plus something in SLI was upsetting them. The neuro implants in their brain activated fear and anger responses along with the virus made them able to use the weapons. I will email Dr. Hammet about removing them permanently.”

“Heh – it’s an old idea.” LaMare said, “the military tried something like that in the forties with pigeons and guidance bombs. They were pretty good at it. Unfortunately, they lost a lot of them for obvious reasons.” 

By the time he returned from explosive disposal, the ripped cloth on his head had soaked up a lot of blood, turning it red. 

Darrel had finished his conversation with Caroline and walked up to the group. Dr. Gains was about to ask for his phone back, but when he felt his pocket it was already there! 

Somehow Darrel had slipped the phone back without him noticing.

Agent Darrel then looked serious at all of them.

“All SLI staff need to work on adhering to better safety standards. Numerous preventable incidents occurred today. We got them under control, but if the public ever discovered this secret installation because of an escaped project, then it would be a media nightmare and a risk to national security.”  

He then pointed around at the damage done to hallways.

Dr. Gains hoped the janitors here were paid well.

“I don’t know.” LaMare said skeptically, “if you look at the clear and utter disregard and malfeasance of the executive administrations, you will see the public doesn’t care. Spending trillions in foreign countries without a viable long-term plan. Buying thirty-thousand in custom dining sets for public officials while cutting education, healthcare, and science budgets. The public forgets the next day when a new scandal comes to light. It doesn’t matter how bad it actually is – lie, never admit fault, and give it a nice spin, then there’s nothing you can’t do and get away with it.”

The conversation was cut short when Henry came walking with three dogs, each on a leash and harness. His head was nearly an inch below the ceiling, so it was quite a funny sight seeing such a tall guy in contrast to the short legs of the dachshunds.  

“Look! Your friend!” Henry remarked at Gunny who ran and greeted the other dogs in joy.

Soon all the dogs were barking and sniffing each other’s butts like crazy.

“Who was it that took down Wagner?” Caroline asked Darrel. 

“Yeah, I’ve been interested to know who could pull off such a feat so quickly.” Jessica said and expressed intrigue. 

“He’s about to get here,” Darrel answered, checking his phone for updates.

Dr. Gains turned his head back to the stairwell.

There was a familiar thud sound walking down the stairs, one that Dr. Gains instantly recognized and feared.

A shadow of a figure stepped out into the hallway.

It was General Stanton.

Dr. Gains assumed he was here to fire him on behalf of Colonel Gambit.

Stanton’s head blocked the light in the stairwell, obscuring his features in the shadow until he walked further into the hallway. 

He held up a sad-looking dachshund in one hand and a smashed drone in his other, the whole thing was torn apart by some ungodly force.

General Stanton walked forward with true physical intimidation. 

He was as nearly tall as Henry, had wider shoulders than LaMare, and was built more sturdy than a walking brick wall. If he was coming towards you, the idea was to go the other direction.

“GAINS!” Stanton yelled as he stomped towards them.

The General’s voice boomed all the way throughout the SL2.

Dr. Gains flinched so hard he had to catch his glasses which almost fell onto the floor.

Henry and the dogs all backed away in fear, retreating to hide behind everyone else.

LaMare and Lisa saluted him while Dr. Martin and Darrel stood erect and listened.

General Stanton tossed the broken drone to the side, then gently put Wagner down. With the mischief in his eye extinguished Wagner walked slowly over to the direction of the other dogs and Henry. 

The sound of sad puppy steps echoed in the quiet hallway. For one moment, Wagner glanced up at Dr. Gains as he passed him, then looked back down as if he was sorry about what happened.

After Stanton saluted LaMare and Lisa, he walked forward and came to stand a foot from Dr. Gains.

Dr. Gains looked up at the towering stone-chiseled face of his boss. 

He could not look for longer than a second and turned his head down. 

Distressingly, that only made him feel worse as he could see himself cowering in the reflection of Stanton’s immaculately polished shoes.

“HOW! In the WORLD did this dog MAKE IT TO SUB-LEVEL 1!?” Stanton screamed.

“Sir! Eh – mmh – We – eh – captured all the other ones, but – eh – Wagner was – is – very smart you see –” Greggory began to stutter, but was cut short.

“Even letting one experiment go puts the very nation in DANGER! Discovery of this Top Secret facility would bring shame to me and my entire career!” Stanton yelled and poked his chest.

It looked as if he was about to throw Greggory against the wall.

“You. Are. FIRED!” Stanton spat.

Greggory did not even let out a moan. His face was straight with acceptance. 

“You don’t have the authority! We work for a civilian contractor and the decision of termination falls under a military judicial review or by direct power of Dr. Hammet. ” Jessica said and waltzed up to the General She poked his shiny honorary insignias.

LaMare and Lisa were horrified at this sight.

It was as if she wanted to die herself by poking a sleeping bear.

General Stanton looked down with incredible restraint towards her.

“This matter does not concern you, Dr. Martin. I have gotten authorization from your contractor superior, Dr. Hammet to have Dr. Gain’s employment terminated under my discretion and without remediation.”

He turned his gaze back to Dr. Gains.

 “Pack your things doctor. You will prepare for a decommission debriefing within the next few hours. There will be a lot of paperwork.”

General Stanton turned around and began his walk back to the stairwell. 

Dr. Gains was demoralized, although he at least felt some ease at how easy the paperwork would be for him to finish.

Being fired from this place hurt a lot more than he imagined it would be. 

Dr. Gains was about to sit down and take this all in when some object brushed up against his hands. 

Darrel had just given him something. 

There was a cunning, but genuine curve to Darrel’s lip like he knew this was the perfect moment to make a plan of action.

Dr. Gains looked at what was in his hand and became amazed at the timing.

It couldn’t hurt to give one last gift to Stanton before he left SLI for good.

“Wait! General. — Sir. Wait!” Greggory yelled and ran after him, “taking this as a parting gift!” 

In Dr. Gains’s hand was a colorfully decorated Christmas card that he held out to Stanton.

Stanton looked at the card with a straight and unmoving face and then back into Dr. Gain’s regretful eyes. 

His white-gloved hands took the card, where he opened it. 

He could see The General’s eyes go back and forth, reading what was written on the inside slowly and methodically. Stanton even suppressed a chuckle at something that was written on the card. In a surprise that trumped all expectations, General Stanton smiled briefly and put the card into his pocket.

“Well – Thank you – Doctor Gains.” Stanton said pleasantly and cleared his throat, “please have a report on this on my desk by tomorrow about the experimental data that you collected today. Along with any error reports that SLI can look into and assist in preventing future incidents. Since this was all resolved, I will talk to Colonel Gabit about voiding the previous fines and… I will send someone down to SL3 to fix that snack machine.” 

General Stanton turned around, held his hands behind his back, then departed down the hallway, and back to the stairs as if nothing had happened. 

The group stood there in silence until they were certain he was back up several flights of stairs and out of earshot.

“Wow! You diffused the S-bomb. I could never do that, even if I earned a Purple Heart and a Medal of Honor on the same day.” LaMare said, patting Dr. Gains on the shoulder.

Dr. Gains could hardly believe the reversal of attitude either.

“What did you write on that card? And how did you know I forgot to give him one!” Greggory said as he turned to Darrel.

“I keep good intel sources. As for what was inside, I’ll let you figure that out.” Darrel said with a wink.

The Special Agent made his way to the stairs and slipped away in silence as he usually does. 

A static sound reverberated through the intercom system, then the voice of Colonel Gambit became audible.

“Attention personnel of Sub-Level Installation! This is your Base Commander speaking. The lockdown for Sub-Level 2 and below is now over. Please report to normal operations immediately.” 

And just like that, it was time for lunch. 

Dr. Gains heard people talking and rummaging about from all directions, trying to make their way through the carnage to get back to filing papers or complete more military training.

“Is anyone hungry? What about tacos?” Henry asked as he untangled all six dogs who now had leashes.

Henry suggested El Taco Escondido and told them about the new indoor park, which opened recently on SL1. It had an open space for dogs to sniff and do their business. Conveniently located next to Escondido. Dr. Gains was constantly amazed at how SLI expanded rooms and facilities while being underground.

Everyone agreed to the plans, including Caroline, who decided to tag along using Dr. Gain’s phone until her C-Bot could be fixed.

Lisa and LaMare asked to help walk the dogs to keep them from tripping Henry. Lisa started talking to those two about how she met a strange pizza delivery guy this morning.

Dr. Gains noticed he had something left to wrap up. 

He walked over to Henry and asked to walk Wagner, who looked to be in a state of sadness. Dr. Gains picked him up in his arms and talked to him as they walked along the hallway behind the others.

“Look, Wagner. I’m not mad at you. I was in the wrong. Not you.”

Wagner looked at him with his shiny brown eyes, full of intrigue. 

His head tilted in confusion, then he licked Dr. Gains beard.

“I should be the one who is sorry that I did not play with you this morning or even take you for a walk before starting the experiment. I said I would, but thought nothing of it, like it was not important. My hunger for a snack could have waited until after you had been paid more attention towards. You just want to have fun, don’t you?”

Wagner barked merrily.

“I do have you to thank you for today. Despite almost getting fired and killed – today, I made more friends. All thanks to you, buddy.” Dr. Gains said in a heart warming speech.

“So – so – sappy.” Caroline said as if she was about to cry over the phone.

“Touching, but also incorrect.” Jessica said, waiting for him a few feet ahead.

She stood in the hallway with her arms crossed.

“You are at fault for not paying attention to Wagner, but the reason he got out was not.” 

Dr. Gains stopped in his tracks while holding Wagner in his arms.

“How so?” Gregory asked, “I thought I forgot to plug in the backup security system, Wagner got angry at me for leaving for a snack, and was super intelligent enough to break out of the cage and do all those other things like free give missiles to Gunny despite lacking opposable thumbs.” 

“Not exactly. He only ate a dog treat that had been infused with a drug that increases drive and ambition. The lab work from Dr. Geronimo indicated as such. He was likely trained in goal-oriented behaviors beforehand. Combine that together in a ploy for attention and you get what happened today. Plus, the plug had a bite mark on it!”

Both their eyes locked stares.

“I did plug it in!” Greggory gasped.

“You did! I was the wrong one for assuming this to be your mistake. ” Jessica said with a smile.

They gave a high five in victory, then Jessica gave Wagner a paw-high five.

When the excitement died down, she turned serious and began to whisper at a closer distance.

“But that means there was an intruder. Someone flipped off the switch, gave an unauthorized snack to Wagner while you went on your own snack hunt, and broke Wagner out. Wagner unplugged the backup system, then during the blackout, the rest of the dogs escaped. Something strange is going on in the SLI and we have to figure it out.”

“As crazy as it would be to even think that – I agree – impossibly, someone has found a way to sneak into SL3.” Dr. Gains whispered back.

Dr. Gains detailed what he thought was someone sneaking around when they were chasing the dogs.

He held up his phone to talk to Caroline.

“Hey. What did Darrel say to you? Was it about the blackout?” Greggory asked Caroline.

There was a pause.

“Mhhh – I can’t say. That’s confidential information.” Caroline said to the surprise of the two doctors, “but I can say that the system logs, which include error reports about the blackout, have been deleted. There are backups on the Admin network account, but I do not have access to that. Getting them would be…very difficult. There is something going on, that I would like to investigate alongside you two.”

“Well. I think if we three work together we can find out what secrets the SLI hides in our off time.” Dr. Gains said with a smile.

Dr. Martin smiled back.

“I like confidence.” Jessica said.

“I do too, Dr. Snack.” Caroline joked.

Dr. Martin took Wagner from him so she could talk to him and rub his stomach. 

“Hey, guys! Are you coming?!” Henry shouted from afar, holding the elevator door, “the dogs are getting hungry and so am I!” 

“And I think LaMare just fainted,” Lisa commented as LaMare was now slumped against the back of the elevator. 

“We should probably check in at the SLI Hospital before lunch.” Dr. Jessica said, looking at the gash on LaMar’s forehead.

“I’m a fine doctor… Just get me – eh- something out of the treasure chest for being a good kid.” LaMare groggily said.

“Should have worn a helmet,” Lisa responded, tapping hers.

“By the way, why do you still have that test helmet on?” Dr. Gains asked, pushing the elevator button.

“It got stuck on during the chaos. I just got used to wearing these things anyway by doing so much training, so I haven’t bothered to try to take it off again.” Lisa explained.

Everyone in the elevator laughed at the ridiculousness of the past hour.

Dr. Gains smiled as the elevator door shut.

This year will be a good year. 

He could already tell.