Summary: Two strangers on a cruise dance together, both hoping to escape the sadness left far back on the coast. | Word Count: 2,288
“HA! HAA!” he bellowed, barely audible from the beating of the cruise speakers, “It feels good every now and then just to let go and dance!”
The young man leaned in for only a second only an inch away from her cheek and grazing past her side with his arms as he danced. The dance floor obscured the mass of bodies in flicking light as the infinite darkness of the ocean night surrounded them. Both the strangers felt a dazzling connection between each other from the moment they made eye contact at the main deck bar.
“Less pressure when you don’t know each other!” he smiled as she grinned in delight.
The woman followed his movements, leaning back and forth and now even closer and with a soft tap to his waist with her arm. They inched closer together, moving back, then closer, but always closing the gap so as to not be reabsorbed into the crowd around them. She was four inches taller than him and she was wearing flats – an observation he made only now. In a counter observation, the women mentally noted the young man’s shoulders and stocky build.
“I feel the same!” she yelled and then laughed.
He was close enough to hear an accompanying giggle, which sent a kaleidoscope of butterflies into his alcohol filled stomach. There was not much time to say anything else as the song changed into a bass drop causing the dance floor to jump up and down and scream.
And the two of them did the same.
****
Away from the front of the cruise, the two strangers had walked away from the music after an hour of dancing together. Both were still on a high from all the moving, shaking, and sweating they did as well as the parts where they twirled each other in carefree amusement. At the last few minutes where the song set the perfect saucy mood and alternated in a perfect tempo, they rubbed up against each other in a flirty manner.
They walked in a nervous silence, not entirely knowing what to do next. Neither had talked a plan out for both assumed they would part ways, yet like two magnets they stuck together.
They noticed that this side of the cruise was empty at this time. They had walked down to the deck below that extended outwards with an open view of the sea, save for the parts covered by the lifeboats. Most people were still dancing or at the first dinner of the night.
The women stopped and laid their arms crossed on the rail. Letting her dark and lovely eyes stare into the swishing waters below. The man leaned next to her, his arms clasped together as his elbow touched her. She did not flinch, but leaned her arm closer.
There was not a smile on the man’s face because he was too nervous. He had finally gotten a clear view of her and this intimated him. When they were at the bar, things happened so fast. Three shots down and he was tapped by the same woman he kept gazing at from a distance. At that time he believed she was going to complain about his staring and to his utter surprise she asked him to dance.
He knew she was older than him, but not quite how much – maybe forties at most. All he knew was she had full lips, lovely cheeks, and was whole and ripe with beauty. The touch of wrinkles had not withered any amount of attractiveness from her face. She was curvy from bust to thighs; healthy in all proportions. And the mid-flowing black dress and white pearls made her look sleek and elegant. He felt it over his head and she knew it.
“Did you come here to get away from life on the land too?” she posed to him.
It caught him off guard and he cleared his throat trying to get the words together.
“You could say that…Yeah, actually it’s exactly like that even if I don’t want to admit it.”
“Always admit it. Life’s short. Be honest and open.” she said, glancing directly at his hazel eyes.
“I am – difficult – when it comes to being open about what I feel.” he said tapping his shoes against the hull of the ship.
“You just gotta shoot the shit as they say. Let it out and let it go.” she said and tapped his arm.
“Right.” he chuckled, “well I broke up with my fiancé a month ago. I got cold feet. I promised her since high school we would get married. We both went to the same college and everything, but after a while everything changed. We drifted apart, spending less time with each other, despite our dorms being so close. We just ended our sophomore year and we barely had the same interests anymore and I – and I just broke it off. I was surprised at how she was so surprised at not seeing this whole thing.”
The woman gave a disapproving stare, but it felt it was geared towards him.
“It’s not like she was mean to me or that she was crazy. She just liked me more than I did her. Maybe I am the bad guy. Now you see why I said being honest was difficult for me…I feel bad for breaking her heart, I just couldn’t lie to myself anymore.” he nearly muttered the last few words being hard to say aloud.
“You shouldn’t feel bad if you explained to her why you felt that way. But you should have talked a lot sooner instead of letting it boil up inside you until you broke. You did explain all that to her that night you broke. Didn’t you?” she asked scornfully, already knowing the answer from the lack of eye contact he was not making.
He bobbed back and forth not wanting to lie, but not wanting to say what was now apparent.
“Oh geez. You really are inexperienced at relationships.” she said bluntly.
“Yeaah. I didn’t exactly explain everything. I just blurted out stuff that was on my mind and she shouted and I shouted and it went back and forth on a whole bunch of small tangentially related issues.” he waved his arms as if replaying the whole argument in his head.
He was about to smack his head with his hand, but the touch of the woman’s elbow calmed him down.
“There’s a lot for you to talk about when you return. You should both find closure.”
“I guess I glossed over a lot of stuff. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to say it. It hurt too much seeing her cry after I told the truth. I felt so bad, I just left her crying at her apartment. I texted a friend of hers to check on her and that night I bought a ticket to this cruise using the vacation I had originally put off to hang with some friends. Somehow I felt like this whole excursion would help get my mind off things. That something completely different would convince me that I made the right decision to leave her. I was waiting for a moment of clarity for the past two days. I don’t even like the ocean. I prefer the mountains or hiking at the lake near my parents house, but somehow – for some crazy reason maybe a cruise would force myself to be the furthest thing from my comfort zone and shut off the flood of feelings from all the mess of things I made.”
He finished his thoughts with a deep breath. And things felt lighter in his body. She stared at the young man without interrupting his whole rambling, listening with all her attention and not making a sound. He was unsure if she was actually angry at him for what he did or only feeling pity.
Silence held the two together, however neither could leave, not without talking longer. They were strangers at sea with the sky as dim as their true knowledge about each other’s lives and something about serendipity of life had the desire to stay out a little longer.
“And did it?” she said, taking a deep breath afterwards.
He was taken aback.
“Did it do what?” he said, confused.
“Did this whole cruise at least get your mind off things if you didn’t have the major revelation you were hoping for?” she asked.
The man crossed his legs and bent forward enough to see the faint waves crashing into the hull below.
“A little. Yeah. The music helps…You helped – actually. That dance kind of sets me free at least in the moment.”
“Good.” she beamed with a big smile and placed her right over his.
The man held his own breath as the yellow light from overhead lit her joyful face in the right way that he thought he saw stars. Her teeth showed in that hearty smile and her lips spread with searing hotness that was better than any top tier actress seen in the big screen. Her eyes were filled with confidence while his innocence.
He knew she heard his nervous gulp, but there was nothing he could do about it.
“And you? Why are you here?” he said without thinking.
She bit her lip, twisting it in a mix of emotions that unsettled him as much as it did her. Something provoked him to think he said something wrong.
“My husband died about six months ago from a brain aneurysm. One day we were dryly talking about refinancing our mortgage and the next day, he was gone. No warning, but a bad headache the day before. Sometimes life is like that. We were together for twelve years, content and happy despite several times where we both thought about a divorce before talking it through and a decade of love was gone in just one night.
The young man could not bring himself to look at her. He was scared and paralyzed with uncertainty, having no warning of the gravity of her life and having not dealt with this scenario before. His family and friends dying, but to comfort a stranger he just met, he could not fathom what to say.
“I also thought this would be a nice getaway too.” she continued waiting for him to process what she said, “something different and as you said a change of pace. I really want to stop being depressed. You can cry only for so long before you have to move on. I know this ship won’t solve it. But I think that dance with you did free my mind.”
“I – I am sorry.” he quickly said, and retreated an inch, separating the two of them.
In slow, but deliberate movement, she slid over to him and returned to the warmth of his arms as the sea swept a chilly mist there way.
“Don’t be.” she said with no regret.
The young man felt like throwing himself off the ship at this very moment, however his better nature pulled the brakes on it and accepted the feeling of awkwardness and enjoying a moment with someone who needed it more than he did.
“Right…Thanks. I feel terrible about your husband and for you of course!” he shook his head, “I don’t know if that’s the right thing to say.”
She shrugged, “There is never a right way to say things. Everyone needs a different answer. Best you can do is be with the person and do whatever they ask and don’t judge – just guide them to a more stable place. My sister was the one with words. She offered me all that guidance during the rough couple weeks after the funeral. Even helped with the transfer of assets and life insurance.”
“I honestly can’t imagine losing someone in that way. Let alone all the stuff that comes after. My uncles usually handle the land and house and valuables for my family. I wouldn’t know where to start.” he said, almost laying his head on her shoulder.
“It’s a lot to grapple with. I made my own will afterwards. Bought a ton of organizers. Compiled all my passwords for my accounts and left money aside for cremation costs and accounted for how my personal possessions would be given up. Three months past his death and it sounded like I was planning my own.” from a smile to a frown, then back again as if she was forcing herself to smile instead of cry.
“It didn’t feel like you were planning on dying out there on the dance floor.” the man said with a bravado he seemed to summon from out of nowhere.
She laughed and flashed a sly smile as if she was about to say something back, but it faded whatever it was.
“Oh. But I was dying out there. Dying of embarrassment from my terrible dancing. If you hadn’t saved me like a knight in shining honor. Who knows.” she veiled another emotion with sarcasm.
They both knew she cared little of how she looked dancing.
“A knight huh.” the man said.
“Maybe more like a squire. In all time due time – young sir.” she joked, relaxing her shoulders.
“Live in the moment – live for myself.” he said also relaxing more.
“Oh. Is that your new motto.” she asked.
“Maybe. But I stole it from the song that was playing back there.”
“I wasn’t even listening.” she admitted, “I was too focused on your dance moves.”
“I am pretty good.” he gleefully lied, “And I think we both successfully escaped what’s back on shore. Even for just a night.”
And that was no lie.
Off Beat Off Kilter 