Summary: An early work. A reflection on depression. I hope that more people as they grow up can communicate their emotions more often, even if uncertain to others what they are feeling. Sometimes all it takes is saying “I am here when you are ready to talk.” Things do get better as this blog is a testament to how far I have come in creativity and how much stable my life has become to be able to focus on such expressions. Someone who is suffering should be reminded of the future possibilities delicately – all without dismissing their pain or ignoring the severity of it. It is about careful listening and helping the best you can at the moment you can. | Word Count: 224
How does one scream the entirety of their soul to others?
How does one maximumly express all their feelings without the proper words?
How does one denote symbols of the mind that have not enough meaning to contextualize into form?
How does one reference your own thoughts into everyone else’s reality?
I find it difficult to communicate with others. I find the more I try, the less clear it becomes and all my words only become wrapped up and covered. When upset, I lay on my floor because it grounds me to the world. Wishing, hoping I will weep, but I can not. What more can I do but be curled?
Rolled up into a heap. Feelings and emotions sunk down into the deeps.
When I feel this way, all I can do is clutch my sides, waiting for the feeling to pass with the day in restless sleeps.
Waiting and waiting until the feeling dies, however it always comes back and it creeps back slowly. First at the edge of thoughts, then into my core it is brought, twisting my innards and smashing my organs wholly.
I grind my teeth, slam my eyes shut, and wriggle in pain. I’m not sure. I’m not sure of anything. Not anymore. Especially about talking with others about my mind – it is a scary thing I abhor.
Off Beat Off Kilter 